Hmm???

Carla's breath was hot on my chest in the dark room as I struggled awake. Fuck, how long had I been out? Was it still today? Or was it tomorrow already? My hand scrabbled, looking for a phone, a clock, anything. There. The black plastic slipped into my hand somehow, because I sure don't remember getting up, and my eyes glanced at the clock which read Five Fifteen. Great that didn't fucking help at all. It was dark EARLY right now.

I brushed a accumulation of grime out of my eyes and tried to focus on whether that was an A or a P. Looked so damn similar in the early morning light, I finally noted. Right. Morning. I had lost track of... it had been just like that first night with her sister. All night. Over and over again. I was tired, and I could feel the aches in my body, pretty much everywhere.

"Tooo eaaaaarly.... come back to bed..." Carla stretched out her arm in the now semi-vacant bed. Her face pressed into the pillow and her arm waved up and down for a moment, obviously searching for the contact.

"I'm up..." I sat heavily onto the bed again, and her hand immediately grabbed at my thigh, squeezing tightly.

"I almost feel like I should ask you if you need the bathroom," I laughed thinking about how I had always been so careful NEVER to walk in on Carla.

"...hitting the shower?" Carla pulled herself closer, her lower stomach now pressed against my lower back on the bed. The contact was nice, and it felt right. "But... I don't think I can move for a while. Let me sleep?"

I ran my fingers over her back, and she eased into the contact, before pulling a pillow to herself.

"I could have..." She mumbled, "the whole... move over Kaila... stop hogging..."

Her words became lost in a jumble of soft breaths and I realized she hadn't really been awake. Just running on whatever semi-conscious thought were running at the time. It was kinda cute actually, and I removed my hand gently, before pulling the blanket back up over her.

The bathroom routine was the bathroom routine. When I finally pulled my clothes on and stepped out once again onto the ocean view patio my mind was in a whirl. Had I just proposed to Carla? Yeah, fuck... I had, hadn't I? But what about Helen? My mind immediately flashed to her. Had she known about this? Kaila hadn't said. Carla hadn't said. In fact they'd repeatedly dodged the question. Which suggested to me that there was some reason they didn't want to tell me.

Aaargh, Carla had been right, I groaned, looking down on the pounding surf that was now visible in the light of the false dawn. Unless you talked about these things, first, it could get all sorts of complicated. What was I going to say to her, after all? Well, a few hours to think about it, relax, just spend time with my own thoughts. Something I hadn't had the entire time. Not that I minded of course, especially considering what the company had led to. I had made love to four women. In one week. And they all knew. And... no... that was it. That was what was bugging me so much.

Helen didn't know. And it was bugging the HELL out of me. I at least didn't know she was ok with it. Maybe she would be, but I had ran out on her with my wife after... yeah, I hadn't been thinking too much. I was so obsessed with dealing with the current crisis that I hadn't thought about her. And I didn't even have her phone number. Some days, I really was an idiot.

I looked down at the ocean and felt the welling of the second guesses. Every decision I'd made over the last few days. How I had taken Kaila's gift and just treated it like garbage because I hadn't been the one to decide it. She's having my baby, for... yeah, we had to work on things. I still loved her, but still, for the life of me, couldn't see what she saw in me. I'm... wow... I'm actually going to be a dad. And possibly with Helen. That's... wow... also amazing. And with Carla... this is just fucking insane. I don't get it. Why do these women love me? Why do I love them?

And that was when I decided that I really didn't care. The reason why didn't matter any more, I realized, taking a deep breath. I am in love. And I've been completely honest. They sometimes hadn't been. Because they love me.

I looked back over my shoulder at the sliding glass door, taking in the image of Carla on the bed, hugging a pillow. I imagined Helen in that position, or Kaila, or even Charlotte. It all felt right, natural. Right.

"And if this were a movie, totally time for a song," I quipped.

Right, so... think about it. What I'm going to say, what I'm going to do, when I see them. I figured had better make it good, because I had NO idea at that moment.