Here's to you, Mrs. Corsini

"It's quiet out here," Nikki mused, looking at the trees. as I brought the Van around the familiar turn off. The small dirt clearing that sat in front of the cabin was completely unoccupied, but the smoke that emanated from the chimney gave no illusions as to the occupied status.

"Well dat's pretty small," She looked at the cabin as I pulled the van to a halt. "Screams horror movie, by de way. Like, I mean every single one of de tropes. "

"You know they only reason they do that is so people will avoid the places they're most likely to get laid, right?" I argued.

"Ok, first time I've heard dat one." Nikki smirked as I yanked on the parking brake.

"Well, whaddya think bored guys raised by media talk about on deployment? It was that or guitar hero, or get involved in the Jodi betting pool."

"I'm not even gonna ask about dat one. Sounds horrible." Nikki took a deep breath. "I'm actually... shit, I'm actually kinda worried about meeting your wife now."

"I've got the intro. Hang on though, I've gotta find a rock."

"A rock?"

I pushed open the door and hunted around for the large rock that I had been using to ensure the van didn't go anywhere. It took a few moments to find an appropriate one, and I finally found a hemispherical piece of granite that was about the size of a DVD set. It fit neatly behind the front tire, and Nikki stood beside me while I did so, her bag slung over one shoulder as she looked up at the cabin.

"Oh... I get it. Shitty brakes?"

"Actually this car's pretty good, but I used to live in San Francisco." I explained. "Just in case."

"Dat where you and your wife met?" She asked, looking up at the cabin. "You seem to be pretty fond of her."

"I will totally let her tell you this story. She loves to tell it." I gestured with both hands towards the cabin. "I'm half tempted to do a walk this way joke, because it would be totally appropriate."

"If I could walk dat way I wouldn't need da aftershave."

I mimed hitting two drums and a snare.

"Ba-dump-tish." I chuckled. "Ok, so... on we go."

Nikki took my arm as I led her across the dirt parking lot towards the cabin. I was a bit shocked to see Helen standing right by the door, completely clothed, with her arms crossed triumphantly. I could clearly see her through the screen door, and as I pulled it open to let Nikki past me, Helen addressed me triumphantly.

"HA! I knew it! So... Hi Imogene, you're getting the couch and Brent's sleeping in the car."

The door opened and I saw the flushed face of my wife, fully dressed as well. She looked out of breath, and the look of excitement on her face was unmistakable. It was very clear that she had recently been engaged in bedroom activities. Her smug smile was frozen on her face as she took in the woman that was with me.

"Sure, I can resist my sister... I can..."

There was a brief moment of hesitation when she seemed to notice that the woman on the porch was not in fact my sister. Kaila's expression shifted from one of triumph to one of sheer confusion.

"I..." her mouth opened again as Helen looked at her with a grin.

"So, I liked that idea about making him do the wood pile all by himself, then we've got the laundry, and Charlotte wanted a long massage with him tied to a chair." Helen cheered, loudly calling into the cabin. From within I could hear Charlotte laugh in response.

"Well before I get started on that, I'd like you to meet Nikki Corsini. Nikki, this is Helen and Kaila, and the woman laughing back there is Charlotte. And if she's wearing clothes, that means you all ignored what I said."

The moment hung there for second, as Kaila's expression changed to one of pure shock.