Henry Halper, a college freshman in 2021

Eva the Seiyokugami was bored.

Time was taking its toll across the multiverse. Universes were clumping together. They were becoming either wild fuckfests or annoyingly prudish teases.

In some ways, this made things difficult in the Seiyokugami realm, as they gained life in equivalence to how much sex they added to the world. Shinigami--those rich spoiled fucks--could gain years from a kill. The poor Seiyokugami often set up some pairing only to earn four minutes of life, that being two minutes from each participant including the more serious moments of foreplay. Then, if the society became more sexual, everything became normal and the Seiyokugami involved stopped getting life from it. All that power flowed into stabilizing its home universe.

The multiverse was a fucking scam.

Still, Eva wasn't doing that badly. She had recently corrupted a prudish universe. She had given her Sex Note to someone who started a major cult and got oppressed by the authorities. Their actions didn't get normalized by society for a long damn time, which in the grand cosmic balance meant frequent boosts to Eva's vitality.

Now she had decades to spare, and she wanted to experiment.

She burned a few years to gaze across the multiverse.

...Ha!

What the fuck was wrong with that place?

Odd little universe. Cultures few and far apart, slow-as-fuck value on their Speed of Light, gravity overtuned and strangling out wormhole travel, most of the universe totally lacking in interspecies drama. Ape-pattern humans on a planet where sex had been common, but--What?

Burn some time, see some time.

Oh, diseases. The planet was in the grip of diseases that evolved too fast to be cured. Yeah, that happened.

This planet was named "Earth" or "Terra" or various other uncreative tributes to the literal dirt under their feet.

What an absolute unqualified shithole of a universe.

Challenge accepted!

Eva phased into "Earth" and selected her target: A young male student who was not bright enough to avoid getting caught.