Gal Gadot and Brie Larson

As you scroll through your phone's now massive list of contacts, it dawns on you just how surprisingly tough it is to choose an actress. Turns out that when you're given the choice of every woman in Hollywood to start with, it was hard to narrow it down to just one or two. Eventually, you decide that rather than select the actresses first, it might be easier to come up with an idea for a movie, then cast the actresses you want to fuck... er, 'star' in it.

Ten minutes later, you realize that won't be any easier. Sure, you could just make a cheap no-budget porno and call it a day, but something about being in a luxurious office and having the world's greatest movie production team at your command makes you really want to do something more elaborate. Frustrated, you start surfing celebrity news sites in order to find some inspiration, and it isn't long before you hit upon something that gets the gears in your head turning.

The article itself wasn't much. It was just an old interview with Brie Larson about Captain Marvel and her appearance in the latest Avengers movie, but that got you thinking. While your main goal was getting as much celebrity pussy as possible, you also wanted to take one of those 'holier-than-thou' feminists that seemed to be everywhere in Hollywood and have them begging you to fuck them, and Brie Larson was currently one of the biggest examples of that in geek culture. If left unchecked, she could corrupt everything nerds hold sacred, and turn it all into preachy feminist garbage. It could be the end of geekdom as we know it!

...Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration. But regardless, the thought of bringing such a grade-A feminista down to your level (or even beneath it) was making you rock hard. Plus, she's a blonde. You like blondes.

But something is still missing. Sure, it'll be fun to knock her down a peg, and she's attractive in her own way, but the idea of the relatively flat Brie Larson of all people being your first celebrity fucktoy by herself lacked some of the glamour you were yearning for when you first came up with this idea. You want more for your first big movie. You briefly consider bringing in another Avengers co-star to act with her (Scarlett Johansson specifically), but when you think about it some more you hit upon an even better idea for what you have planned: Gal Gadot.

It's the perfect choice. The Israeli supermodel turned actress is smoking hot (even if she wasn't exactly what you'd call curvy either), and in your opinion far more likable in interviews than Brie Larson. Yet she still played THE big feminist icon of comic books, Wonder Woman herself. Just imagining tying her down with her own lasso and fucking her raw while she screams your name makes you shiver in excitement. And why settle for taking down one big name feminist superhero when you can take both of the big ones down in a single movie?

Now knowing exactly what you want to do, you select both actresses in your contacts and send them a message.

Hello, ladies.

This is Gerry Manheim messaging you personally with an offer for a new film that I'm going to be putting into production soon: 'Wonder Woman vs. Captain Marvel'. Considering it will be the first major crossover between the MCU and the DCEU, and star two incredibly popular leading heroines, I have full confidence that this movie will be a smash hit and the highlight of both of your careers. However, you should know that filming and production will be moving much quicker than typical projects, so be prepared to be ridden hard when the project does begin in earnest.

Please respond within 24 hours if you are interested in this project.

Yours truly, Gerry Manheim

You hit send on the message, then start brainstorming ideas for the movie while you wait for a response. To your surprise, it isn't even five minutes before your phone buzzes with both of their answers.

Mr. Manheim, I would love to be in your movie! I've always wanted to be in a Manheim Production, and to do so as Wonder Woman is a dream come true! I can't wait to read the script. Gal Gadot.

I would be honored to be in your movie, Mr. Manheim. I can already tell that working with you will be amazing, though just between you and me, what do you think of changing the name to 'Captain Marvel vs. Wonder Woman'? No offense to Ms. Gadot's talents, but the MCU has had a more popular reception with audiences than the DCEU, so putting Marvel first will probably draw in more of a crowd. Just a thought. Brie.

You expected them to accept of course, what with the rules you'd written, but you didn't expect them to get back so quickly. They must have really been eager to work with you after all. Grinning at how easy this was turning out to be, you write up a follow-up message.

Gal and Brie,

Thank you for getting back to me so quickly. Due to the nature of this movie and the hype it will produce once announced, I am wary about sending any more details about the project in this manner. Instead, I wish to meet with both of you in five day's time to discuss the script, workshop some scenes and character interactions with you, and just get to know you both on a more personal level. If possible, please bring the costumes for your characters with you to this meeting, though in order to keep the project under wraps please do so discreetly.

Yours truly, Gerry Manheim

P.S. The name of the movie is non-negotiable, Brie. Market research indicates that Wonder Woman has better name recognition with the general public, so her name goes first.

You hit send, hoping that the note at the end will have the intended effect of planting a seed of rivalry between the two. Then you have a thought. Both women are probably already signed onto other projects by now, which might cause issues during the production of your own movie. No biggie: you pick up the Rulebook and your trusty pencil and add a new rule.

Old Rule: Actors and actresses who are chosen to be in a Manheim Productions film will always make it their top priority, and are more than willing to leave other films mid-production if made to choose between working on that film or a Manheim Productions one. They will be allowed to do so with no legal repercussion from other studios, even if such an action would normally be considered a breach of contract.

There. Now you won't ever need to worry about scheduling conflicts when assembling your cast. With that out of the way, you open a word processor on your computer and begin the first draft of 'Wonder Woman vs. Captain Marvel'. You can't wait to see those sluts' faces once they realize what they really signed up for, and the 'creative liberties' you plan to take with their iconic characters...