Follow Tiffany to the slopes

"This is awesome, man!" Kiefer laughs, looking over the large room you share. Two separate beds adorn each side of the room, carved with rustic alpine designs. "Enough beds for you, me, and the Swiss Bikini Team!" he crowed.

"Hey John," Kiefer asks, "what do you want to do first? Hit the slopes or hit the lodge?"

"Slopes, Keef, totally," you say.

"I'm with you, man," Kiefer says. "A man's gotta be a man first before he gets to let his horn dog off the leash."

"Dude, to be a man IS to be a horn dog. Or so you told me," you say.

Kiefer clasps his chest. "Through the heart, man, through the heart."

You dose up your face with sunscreen and pat your jacket pockets to check your supplies. Chapstick, check. Clif bars, check. Tissues, check. Condoms and lube, check.

Kiefer catches you checking your supplies and laughs. "Be prepared, man," he says. "Not a bad plan." He stuffs some similar supplies into his own jacket pocket.

You toss the cord of a soft-sided water pouch over your shoulder.

You and Kiefer drag your skis and boots over to the porch.

"Hey, Kiefer and I are gonna hit the slopes," you say. "Anyone ready?"

Case and Eva are inside their room with the door closed. No answer from that quarter.

"I've got to go rent some skis," Melody says. "Then I want to warm up on the greens for a while, you know, I haven't been on skis since junior high. How about you guys go ahead and give me a beep at noon?" She waves her cell phone, newly kitted up with a shockproof case, lanyard and clip.

Tiffany laughs. "You're gonna be okay, Melody," she says. "You were a racer in junior high, remember? You don't forget that." Tiffany checks the lanyard on her own phone and clips it to her red ski suit. The gold lanyard dangling from her ample chest just seems to call out 'Pull me! Pull me!' but you're afraid that it's connected straight to a head-ringing slap at the end of Tiffany's long arm. She pulls back her golden hair in a ponytail and tops off with a red and gold hat and designer goggles.

Kiefer elbows you. "Focus," he mutters.

"Dude," you say. Like he's one to talk. You double-check your phone shortcuts. Melody, Tiffany, Kiefer, Case, and Eva are all there. Rockin'. You zip your phone into a mesh pocket.

Tiffany picks up her own skis and boots and carries them to the porch. She snaps on her gear and sidesteps down onto the snowy trail winding by the Penguin Cabins. "Coming, guys? I thought you said you were here to chase girls?"

You and Kiefer struggle into your gear and dig in your poles, following Tiffany toward the lifts.

Tiffany gets in line for The Grinder, a black diamond lift.

Kiefer looks at you. You look back.