Drunk asses

I’m too drunk to think. The **** has fully hit my system, and judging by the circus in the house, everyone else is just as wasted.

Joey cooks totally nude in the kitchen. The handle of the cast iron seared his hairy ass when he accidentally backed into the stove. He flinched so violently he knocked over the table. Of course he didn’t pick anything up.

Ross dances to music wearing nothing but his tight briefs, chugging beers from the fridge and shaking his bulge. He offered me a can, but the thought of more **** was almost enough to send me to the bathroom to puke.

And I don’t want to puke in the bathroom, because right now it is occupied by three loud women showering together. I walked in there to piss in the toilet, and they yelled at me to get out perv!

So now I’m pissing outside, watching the wind blow my stream and spatter onto the concrete patio. I’m too lazy to walk to the grass.

I look down at my dick and can’t believe how many mouths and pussies it’s been in tonight. I still can’t smell anything, except for Rachel’s pussy. I’m afraid of blowing my nose and losing her scent.

We haven’t talked about continuing the orgy yet, but no one is planning on going to bed either. I pull up my sweatpants and head back inside. I grab a water and a bag of chips from the kitchen. I plop on the couch and wait.

Ross asks, “I saw you with Joey? Was that your first time sucking his dick?”

“Yeah,” I laugh. “It’s the first time I’ve even seen his dick. Have you sucked it before?”

He nods, “On some lonely late nights in college, we’d give each other head. Just another way of getting off instead of jerking off in our own beds.”

No wonder they chose each other to be best man in their weddings over me. I say, “You never invited me.”

“We didn’t want anyone to know. It might come off as weird,” Ross finishes his beer and opens a new one.

“How are you so ripped when you drink like that?” His body is ridiculous, especially exposed to the world in just those tiny undies.

“Cold plunges,” he says like that explains everything.

The women come out of the bathroom. All wearing towels or robes. Full of smiles and energy. They are not ready for bed.

“You girls have any extracurriculars in the shower,” Ross asks.

“Phoebe gave my ass a tongue scrub, if that’s what you mean,” Monica laughs.

Phoebe flicks her tongue out, “I’d do it for any girl with a booty like this.”

She smacks my wife on her robe covered ass. Monica turns on the little woman, “Girl! You know how raw my ass is from your husband’s spankings!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Phoebe whines.

During the commotion, Rachel sits right next to me. The towel ends at the top of her thighs and is loosely tied at the top of her breasts. Any movement could free her naked body. She decides to lean and reach into the bag of chips I have resting in my lap. As she grabs a handful of chips, her pretty freckled face hovers extremely close to mine.

She grabs so many chips, they fall out of her hand as she moves them to her mouth. One falls into the cleavage under her towel. She laughs as she chomps on the chips.

I ask, “Would you like me to get that chip out for you?”

Still chewing she says, “Only if you use your mouth.”

I lean over and grab the knot of the towel with my teeth. I pull until it unties. The towel falls away from Rachel’s glorious body and huge titties. I kiss down her chest until I find the chip, then eat it.

She laughs, “Thanks, but now you have to put my towel back on.”

Using just my mouth I try to rewrap the towel around her body. It ends with me motorboating her tits like trying to keep the ends of the towel together. I fail but the sound of her laughter was a victory.

I give up. “Sorry about the towel, but at least your body is dry now.

“I’m not dry everywhere,” Rachel says giggling at her joke.

I’m about to reach into her lap and find out where’s she’s wet when Joey parades into the living room with a platter of food. He sets it down on the coffee. With his booming voice he tells us, “Let’s refuel then have more sex.”

Sounds like a plan.

My wife exits our bedroom is lacy red lingerie that barely contains her big curves. She walks over to the coffee table in heels and bends over to get a slice of pizza. She eats it so nonchalantly.

I say, “Nobody’s ever looked sexier eating a piece of pizza.”

“Hey. I figure I brought it. I might as well wear it,” Monica says.

“We’re not complaining,” Joey says. “I love seeing a girl’s asshole under her thong while I’m eating.”

“You look hot,” Ross says. “Babe, did you pack any lingerie to wear?”

Rachel answers, “No, but I’m sure I could throw together a sexy outfit if you’d guys like that.”

“Oh for sure,” Joey says. “Undressing is part of the fun. I mean you look good sitting totally naked and covered in chip crumbs, but it’ll be a bigger turn on to start with a tantalizing outfit.”

Rachel leaves me on the couch to change in her room. I ask Phoebe, “What about you? Are you gonna dress up?”

The petite Asian glares at me, angry that I interrupted her midnight snack. She says, “I’m just gonna cover myself in whipped cream and chocolate.”

She grabs a aerosol can of whipped cream and sprays a dollop between her legs. Then she drizzles chocolate syrup on her tits. She stands and looks at me, “Do I look good enough to eat?”

“Oh my god. You’re going to be so fucking sticky,” Ross says. He immediately starts lapping the chocolate off her chest.

Joey growls at my wife getting another slice of pizza, “If you bend over in front of me again and I see your asshole, I’m going to lick it and then I’m going to fuck it.”

Monica purposely bends over into front of him again and grins looking back over her shoulder. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Rachel poses in the door frame of her bedroom. Her long sexy legs are bare. She wears tiny compression shorts that are so tight I can see her camel toe. Her toned abdomen ripples. She wears a sports bra that squeezes her tits together into massive proportions. Her hair is tied back in a high tight pony tail. She is sporty sexy.

I have to fuck her tits while she’s wearing that.

She says, “Y’all couldn’t wait for me to get started.”

Ross’s face is lapping Phoebe’s tits. Joey’s face is buried between my wife’s thick ass cheeks.

I wave her over, “Hurry up so we can join them.”