Disguise?

The bouncer scrutinized us carefully. Very carefully.

I needn't have worried about my youthful face, though. Or my super cute hair. His gaze never made it that high.

He told me that I had a great personality, and a decent sense of humor too, so I could pass.

He didn't really. I mean, he said something similar, if you replace the nouns with body parts. I thought I'd clean it up for my sensitive readers.

It was strange to be so blatantly objectified. I had tried to mentally prepare for it, rehearsing some pointed questions and an informative lecture or two. But when the time came I just blushed, smiled meekly, and slunk inside. His eyes were casually glued to my personality the entire time. Person-Allie-ty?

I resolved to shake this encounter off and get my confidence back so that I could bring you, dear reader, the hard hitting investigative reporting that you have come to expect.