Despair

Lolth did not deny it. She flinched away from Teysa's stare, and the light in her eyes flickered. The red drained out of it, leaving a dull, cold white like snow.

"I... am sorry," Lolth said at length. "Teysa, you cannot know what it was like. To be sealed in the dark for aeons by My own daughter. To hear the cries of My worshippers, my children, and to be unable to help them. When you came to Me, all I could think of was ****. You would have been My instrument. And on the cusp of that ****, you showed Me another way."

She sat on a flat rock and smoothed out her gown with her hands, looking down into her lap. "I had visions, after you left. A new Church. A new order. Paladins who would serve Me, who would nurture and sick and the hurt and the scared. I am the Mother Below, and all I wanted was to take care of My children. But I did not know how to create such a thing. There are terrors, Teysa, terrors lurking in the shadows, things more awful than you can imagine. They slither and slaver and wait for their chance to rend everything I have built into pieces. I cannot protect My children directly. I hope to help them protect each other. You are to be the first."

"But why?" Teysa asked. Her anger had spiraled down into nothingness, leaving only leaden despair. "Why me? Why not ask? You tried to trick me, to compel me. Is that why You transformed me? So that I would be stuck down here, and You would be my only option? If You wanted my service, why not ask?"

"Would You have agreed?" Lolth let out a mirthless bark of laughter. "You, who craves the sun? I see it in your heart, child. This is the only way I know. The only way I could act for years uncounted. I am the Spider; I spin in the dark."

"My life," Teysa murmured. It was growing hard to talk. "My life. You took my life."

Something was happening to the floor of the cave. The stone shifted like quicksand. Teysa could feel herself sinking into it, an inch at a time. The floor beneath her bowed downward like an overloaded hammock. Strangely, there was no sense of panic, only a gloomy acceptance. She could free herself, but why? What kind of life did she have to look forward to? Abandoned by one God, tricked by another, she was but a pawn on the great gameboard of divinity.

"Teysa!" Lolth cried, standing and stepping forward. "Teysa, no! Do not succumb!" She reached out towards Teysa, but seemed **** to get too close. Her fingers waved in the air a foot from Teysa's face. "Take my arms! Teysa, please!"

"Why?" Teysa asked, no louder than a whisper. "Why bother?"

She was really starting to sink now. The tips of her legs had already vanished beneath the stone. Whatever was below it felt cool and smooth. She could feel her body starting to grow numb, and she welcomed it. The cave of the ceiling seemed so far away; Lolth towered over her like a monolith. She realized this was because she had already sunk to the chest.

Still, the Goddess tried one more time. "Teysa!" she yelled. "I'm sorry! Please, please come back!" Tears glistened on her perfect cheeks like tiny diamonds.

Teysa said nothing. That was easiest. A little more, and she wouldn't have to see the crying Goddess, or Aliara, or any of them. She wouldn't have to serve this liar or bow to the Matron. She would be free. She would correct her last and most dreadful mistake-- agreeing to come back at all.

Only her head remained above the stone now. The Goddess was weeping, pleading, reaching out desperately, but she seemed a million miles away. Her voice faded to nothingness as Teysa's ears slipped below the surface. Then her eyes, and the world went dark.

She was floating, floating in an endless cool sea. She could feel herself slipping away. As a last act, she smiled. She was finally free.

Aliara awoke the next morning with a sense of palpable alarm. She had slept fitfully and her dreams had been disturbing, though they blew away like autumn leaves upon waking. "Tey?" she murmured groggily, and sat up. The drider in the next hammock was stiff and cold.

"Teysa!"

By the time she had hopped out of bed, there was no doubt in her mind. Teysa's body had already cooled. Aliara grabbed her with tears in her eyes, squeezed, tried to massage life back into the stony limbs, but even she could tell it was useless. The driders, summoned by her shouts, pulled her off of Teysa's lifeless body.

"She hasssssss gone, Aliara," the Matron said, as two others carried Teysa away. "I am ssssssssorry. Not everyone can withssssssssstand the change."

Aliara wiped the tears from her cheeks and nodded. She thought, but didn't say, that perhaps this was for the best. She had been able to tell how miserable Teysa was. "I'll see you in the afterlife, my love," she whispered, and pressed Teysa's palm to her lips as the driders passed by.

She couldn't help but notice that expression on Teysa's cold lips: a broad and happy smile.