Dean Le Fey

You are in an empty room, save for a wizened, wrinkled man floating in mid air in lotus position, his body tattooed all over in arcane runes, his flaccid cock floating impressively beneath him like a long tail. You open your mouth to stupidly stammer a question...but too many run into each other.

The fantastical figure raises a single finger, shushing you before pronouncing, I am Dean Le Fey, and I will answer the rest of your questions in the order you 'asked' them. Your mother is fine back at your humble home. You are at Hades University for Men, in the Warlock wing. Warlocks are real and we are technically human, save for the blood pact made with infernal powers. This power can be passed to our children, hence why so few of us procreate. Oh and no I did not enchant my penis, it really is this big, but yes you can learn a spell to make yours bigger. It is literally one of the first spells you horny first years make."

You struggle to process this flood of information, and blush as you realize he caught you wishing you could enhance your 'wand', but you keep quiet so as to not upset the floating naked man.

"Hmm maybe you are wiser than you look. You at least know how to hold your tongue. You don't appear to take after your father...at first glance anyway, but I suppose time will tell. I...quit thinking so quickly." You try to stem the flood of thoughts and just listen, but it's a lot to take in. "Yes I know your father. No, I don't know if I am more powerful than him and no I am not one of his many enemies, but yes, you will probably encounter warlocks or other creatures that despise him...or at least his reputation."

That is a lot to take in all at once, and you can't help but feel slightly scared shitless. Clearly sensing this, Dean Le Fey continues, "I won't lie to you, boy. This school is not a safe space. True power is achieved through perseverance, through painful sacrifice, and facing mortal peril. You can be a truly powerful warlock, young Mr. Brand, but it will not be without risk."

You find yourself wavering and you see a different glint in the dean's eyes as he asks, "Unless you would rather study directly under me? I could keep you safe and teach you many...many things." You really don't like the sound of that, but would you really do better on your own? The students here have probably spent their lives learning magik and you are coming in practically deaf, dumb, and blind.