Continue with this one

"Tell me a little more about the Gas Upgrade," Samus said. "Are there any potential side effects I should know about?"

"The first is that it doesn't merely convert everything you eat or drink into gas. It also amplifies the production of flatulence quite significantly and allows the body to store greater quantities of it."

Great, Samus dryly thought, so I'll be a walking gas station.

"There may also be other side effects. It hasn't been as thoroughly tested as the others. I don't predict it to cause any physical impairments but many of these upgrades often have a way of affecting the user psychologically."

"So this will make me gassy and crazy?" Samus said. This "upgrade" was beginning to sound more and more like a downgrade.

"Crazy would be an overstatement," the computer said. "None of my upgrades have caused mental illness or dramatic changes in personality. If I were to guess, comparing it to similar upgrades, the main psychological effects will probably be something along the lines of making the user a bit more... 'uninhibited,' to put it delicately."

Samus wasn't sure about the sound of that. However, she began to weigh the pros and cons in her head. She wasn't too thrilled about becoming more flatulent, but the prospect of eliminating bathroom breaks altogether sounded like a decent trade-off. Besides, she thought, most of her missions were solo anyway, so it shouldn't be too embarrassing. If it proved to be too much, she could always uninstall it.

Still, she could hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth when she heard herself ask for this odd upgrade.

A nearby compartment opened with a soft whoosh. Samus held the chip up between her finger and thumb, giving it a hesitant look. She took a deep breath and inserted it into a slot in her Zero Suit just above her navel.

Within seconds, a pressure began building up in the bounty hunter's stomach like never before. Moaning, she clenched her gut and collapsed to the floor. She was aware the upgrade was supposed to cause this but she didn't expect it to happen so soon and with such ferocious intensity.

She gritted her teeth. To her surprise, though her stomach felt fuller than it had ever been, it didn't look as bloated as she expected. It was sticking out a little, but she was almost expecting to look pregnant when she glanced down.

Within moments, it proved impossible for her to retain her gas any longer: she had to fart, and worse than she ever had to in her entire life.

Still sitting on the hard floor, the sound of the noisy blast was only made all the noisier. She could hardly believe it was possible for it to be so loud. As it droned on and on, her disbelief was now focused on how long it was. She had no idea how many seconds passed. All she knew was that number had to be well into the double digits before all was silent in the room once again.

She took a couple deep breaths of relief as she processed how she felt about this upgrade.