Change channels

You finally enter the chamber where the floating TV set comes to a stop. An old episode of Gilligan's Island starts to play as you desperately hope for another message from Amy. You decide to try changing the channel. You pull down the door to access the manual controls since you don't have the remote. You press the channel up button, and the TV switches to an old Linda Lovelace movie you've never heard of called Deep Throat that was made way before your time. "So what's wrong with me, doctor? Why can't I have an orgasm?" you hear Linda say. "The reason why you can't have an orgasm like most normal women is because your clitoris is located in the back of your throat" replies the doctor/actor. 'What a cheesy movie!' you think to yourself.

You change the channel again. Amy appears before you. "Deirdra, if you're watching this on TV, that means you were a moron, and decided not to believe me about an invasion of sex demons. You've just made your mission harder, but not impossible. Instead of being able to gather up some of the things you need, you'll have to find them scattered throughout the sex demons' lair as you go. Some objects will be very helpful and have lots of uses, while others may be totally useless or may be limited in the number of uses, or where you can use them. So please, Deirdra, don't have sex with the locals in here just for any old object. Like don't have sex with the Bat People for an old, worn out pair of steel toed work boots. Control your sexual urges, or you may become pregnant or infected with some unusual STD's you don't want. All of the STD's here have cures, you just have to waste time looking for them before you can go on. Succulis is the worst of them. That STD can turn you into a succubus." Amy paused for a moment. "Deirdra, we're all counting on you. You're our last hope. Only you can save us and mankind. Now hit the ground, because the TV set is about to blow a big fucking hole in the side of the chamber you're in. Good luck, Deirdra."

Amy's picture fades, and static takes its place. Then you hear a low pitched whine that increases in frequency. You hit the dirt just in time as the TV set blows a big fucking hole in the side of the chamber. You get up after the dust clears, and walk over to the big fucking hole. You see a road sign straight in front of you. "Welcome to Hell, land of eternal warmth" it says. Underneath, it gives you directions to Impville, Nephilimtown, Brimston, Iblisburg, and various other locations. Now the question is: Where do you start? You do the only logical thing you can when faced with a difficult choice.

"Eeny, meany, miney moe..."