Captain Jennifer Thompson, Astronaut - Alien Human

“Houston, there is a naked woman on the Moon with us. I repeat, a naked woman on the Moon with us. Please advise, over.”

As captain, I have only stepped on the Moon once before. People have an expectation that space is this exciting world. But space was like Disney World. Once you’ve been there, you’ve experienced all of the magic. Take the Moon, for example. The people down on Earth look back at the Moon with awe. But once you get up close and personal, the Moon loses its stardom appeal. Nothing was interesting about the Moon except for that naked woman.

We waited for a response, but no one answered. Only the three of us; me, Dr. Jason Chen, and the naked woman. Jason was the first to take the initiative as he slowly bounced toward the nude woman, and I followed him. The blonde woman was just lying down on the rocky surface in an almost angelic pose, her eyes wide shut. Her impressive chest rose and fell with each breath.

“You think she’s an alien?” Jason asked. “Jen?”

I finally spoke. “Our first order of business is to establish communications with Houston.”

“That’s David’s job,” Jason said. “What about her? Maria and I could examine her in the lab.”

I nodded in agreement, “That’s a good idea. But let’s keep a safe distance and take all necessary precautions. We don’t know what kind of effects the Moon’s environment might have on her. Or if she’s a threat to us.” I began to radio the base. “Maria, I need you to prepare the door for us. We’re coming in with a package. David, I need you to establish communications with Houston ASAP.”

I took the nude woman by her arms, and Jason, who was grinning ear to ear as he blatantly stared at her chest, grabbed her by the legs. We carefully lifted the woman, who was surprisingly light and brought her back to the base. As soon as we entered, Maria and David greeted us with a mixture of surprised and worried looks.

There was silence between the four of us as we stared at the pale skin woman. It was just us, the woman, and the desolate Moon. David was the first to break the ice. “Captain, I’ve been trying to contact Houston, but there’s no response. I think we might be on our own out here.”

I felt a knot form in my stomach. We were stranded on the Moon with a naked woman and no communication with Earth. This was not part of the mission plan. But I needed to do my duties as captain.

“David, get the lab ready. Jason and Maria, you two carry the woman and start running tests on her. I’ll inform Irene about our new guest and try to determine our next move.”

After analyzing the woman’s samples for several hours, we gathered in the conference room to regroup and discuss our next approach.

“Based on the tests, we can confirm that the woman is human. But there are some abnormalities in her DNA structure,” Maria reported.

“What kind of abnormalities?” I asked, leaning forward in my chair.

“It appears that her DNA has been altered. It’s not a natural mutation,” Maria explained.

“Is it possible that she’s a product of genetic engineering?” Jason chimed in.

“Or maybe she’s a time traveler from the future,” David added, half-jokingly.

We all looked at him skeptically, but then Irene spoke up. “Actually, that’s not such a crazy idea. Time travel is theoretically possible according to Einstein’s theory of relativity.”

“Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I interjected. “The important thing is that we figure out how this woman got here and what we do with her after.”

“We could try to wake her up and ask her,” Jason suggested.

“Maybe, but I would rather we wait for her to wake up on her own time,” I cautioned. “She’s alive, and the last thing we need is for her to freak out. Our best approach is to wait and establish communication with Houston.”

***

The dining hall of our moon base was a good spot for the team to relax and get our bearings. We had cameras to monitor our nude guest and alert us should she awake. As the team’s engineer, he had the small hobby of creating robots and holograms so that we wouldn’t be too lonely and grow bored looking at the same faces. The dining hall had a habit of glitching from time to time, but no system was perfect.

We were led by a robot waitress. We walked past a kissing couple, a woman and two men playing pool, a blonde woman reading a menu, and a man watching some reality show. The area had a warm feel to it, like walking through a musky bar. Not David’s best pick, but it was nice to experiment with different environments.

Tonight’s atmosphere was putting my team in a festive mood and I don’t blame them. We found life on the Moon and no one else knows it yet. If that wasn’t cause for celebration, I don’t know what is.

“When we return to Earth, they’re going to do parades in our honor,” Jason announced. I laughed as Marie sang a playful melody to accompany us on our journey to our table. Irene rolled her eyes but quickly grinned when something caught her attention.

We sat down as our robot waitress handed us the menu.

“What’s the occasion?” the blonde woman asked, crossing over to our side of the table. “Birthday party?”

“As an AI program, I cannot say with 100% certainty as they have yet to tell me why they’re here,” our robot waitress said matter-of-factly. “But I’d imagine they are celebrating finding life on the Moon based on the security footage I’ve seen.”

“I see.” The blonde woman gave a smirk. “Carry on.”

“I’ll be back,” the robot said. “To ask for your drinks.” With that, we watched her step away to presumably set up our drinks.

As we perused the menu, David spoke up. “So, what’s our next move?”

“I think we should continue to monitor the woman and wait for her to wake up,” I said.

“But what if she doesn’t wake up for days or even weeks?” Jason asked.

“We’ll just have to be patient. We don’t want to risk startling her,” I replied.

“Captain, what about the anomalies in her DNA structure? Do you think it’s worth investigating further?” Irene asked.

“I agree with Irene. We should investigate further,” Maria chimed in.

“Okay, we’ll run more tests on her DNA and try to get to the bottom of this,” I said, making a mental note to inform Houston of our plans. “I get that we’re excited, but can’t we just relax and enjoy this place and forget we’re serious astronauts for a second?”

“Fine,” David said. “I'll have the whisky.”

I smiled. “Whisky it is. And I’ll have a martini, shaken, not stirred,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.

Jason chimed in. “I’ll get a beer.”

Marie went for a glass of red wine while Irene excused herself to go to the bathroom.

“I don’t think this simulacrum offers martinis, Captain,” said David, unsure as he looked at the menu.

I rolled my eyes. This is why it pays to be insightful. “I saw one of the robots drinking martinis.”

David tried to argue. “But they’re robots, captain. They’re probably drinking colorized oil or something.”

“It doesn’t hurt to ask.” I stood up and stretched my arms. “If not, I’ll get the wine. Irene can decide what she’s having when she comes back. Try not to party too hard.” The team mumbled in agreement, and I turned to find our robot waitress. What was taking her so long?

As I approached the bar, I noticed the blonde woman sitting at a nearby table. She seemed to be watching us closely, which made me feel uneasy. I decided to ignore her for now and focus on getting our drinks.

Looking up at a wall, I saw the most obscene paintings I had ever seen. It was a pinup of a waitress sitting on a customer’s lap, legs high in the air. The customer had a drunken look on his face as he spilled beer all over straight from the pitcher. Her wet blouse stuck firmly to her braless breasts. The tagline on the bottom said, “Serving You With a Smile.”

Opposite the drawing was a picture of two women. The woman sitting down was playing with her shoes. She held one shoe near her face, licking it as the other rubbed against her cleavage. The woman’s expensive dress was rolled up, revealing her lace stockings. The other woman had her blouse open and her pants to her ankles. Her head was buried in the rich woman’s crotch as her fingers played with her needy pussy. The tagline on the bottom reads, “Ready To Serve.”

I’ll have to talk to David about the meaning of these pictures. Who knew he had such a dirty mind.

***

“Excuse me,” I said, getting the robot bartender’s attention. He awkwardly turned around, paying special care that he didn’t trip. It was like he had weights on his ankles. There was another sound I couldn’t put my finger on as he turned. Probably wasn’t my concern. “Do you happen to serve martinis?”

The robot turned to face me. “Yes, we do,” he said with more effort that was needed. Probably from all the stress of working in this robot bar. “Would you like one?”

“Yes, please. And whisky, beer, and a glass of red wine, too.” I looked back at my team, probably still talking about our nude woman. Then I remembered Irene. “Can I also get water?” Where was that girl?

“Coming right up,” the robot said as it started to mix the drinks.

I leaned against the bar and watched as the robot efficiently prepared our orders. It was strange to think that we were on the Moon, drinking in a bar staffed entirely by robots. But it was also kind of cool.

“Here you go,” the robot said, placing the drinks in front of me.

“Thank you,” I said, picking up the martini and taking a sip. It was surprisingly good. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“The moaning.”

The robot looked down for a moment before looking back at me. I wonder what got his attention. “I’m afraid not, captain.”

Oh well. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Do you ever get bored working here?”

The robot paused for a moment, processing the question. “I am not capable of experiencing boredom, Captain. But I am designed to carry out my duties efficiently and with minimal error. It also doesn’t hurt when the base has… those to keep you entertained.”

I nodded. “I see. Well, keep up the good work.”

The robot groaned. “I intend to, captain.”

I was about to leave when something important popped into my head. Those sort of reminders tend to happen to me from time to time. “Also, have you seen our waitress? She had blonde hair and was coming in our direction.

“She’s coming, alright.” His poor face looked so strained as his body began to rattle. “Your waitress is nearby, I’ll let her know you asked for her.”

As I made my way back to our table with our drinks at hand, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement and wonder. Look at us. We had discovered life on the Moon, and we were now enjoying drinks in a lunar bar staffed entirely by robots. Who said the Moon was boring? Not me. I’d rather be here than any place on Earth.