Call an ambulance

You call an ambulance. The ongoing transformations in the city have clogged up the emergency system, but they're able to pick you up within half an hour. A timeframe which you spend lying perfectly still on the couch watching TV, skillfully slaloming through the channels to avoid coverage of transformees whose appearance aligns with your fetishes.

Despite the bumpy ride, you eventually get to an examination. Without blowing a single load, too! An attendant directs you to lie on an examination table and wait for a nurse.

However, you're lucky enough to score an actual doctor.

Sophie: "Hey... I recognize you. Aren't you the guy from TV?"

Alan Coitus: "As a matter of fact I am! Dr. Alan Coitus, at your service. Now then, you've reported that..."

The doctor flips through the various notes on his clipboard.

Alan Coitus: "...You have penises which multiply every time you... unload."

You're a bit bashful about recounting the events, but recognize that secrecy and honesty are paramount for medical practicioners. You retell how, you started with a single penis, came, at which time you had two; your fourth ejaculation bringing the total to four.

Alan Coitus: "Hm. Now Miss Sophie, you probably understand that repeated ejaculations in conjunction with this... rather strange anomaly might eventually result in bodily harm, correct?"

Sophie: "Yeah. Can you do anything? Like, can you remove them surgically?"

Alan Coitus: "If you so wish. While I'd personally be eager to explore the pseudo-scientific ramifications of your apparently entropy-defying anatomy, I can't waiver medicinal professionalism."

Sophie: "Uh... Right."

Alan Coitus: "I'll schedule the operation for tomorrow."

Sophie: "Tomorrow? But I could die if I masturbate too much! Have you any idea how alluring these meaty skewers are?"

Alan Coitus: "I'm sorry, but our faculties are wildly unprepared for this influx of transformations. We've already got three life-saving surgeries ongoing."

Sophie: "Drats."

Alan Coitus: "I'm prescribing you Cyclobenzaprine as a muscle relaxant - hopefully it'll curb your chronic tumescence."

Sophie: "My what?"

Alan Coitus: "Your permanent erections."

Coitus makes his exit and delegates a nurse to escort you to the inpatient ward, where you're assigned a bed and given a dose of the aforementioned ****. Surprisingly it has an effect, and you're flaccid in half an hour. A relief really - it was starting to get uncomfortable and painful.

You'd want to go out and socialize with the other transformees, but don't really know what to say if someone asks what your transformation involves. Instead you decide to settle into the stuffy hospital sheets at the earliest convenience and get some shuteye before tomorrow's operation.

-

Come morning, all seems to be in order, though swords could be smithed against your morning wood. Your surgery is fairly early, so pre-preparations have to be started right away. Better for you, because this keeps you preoccupied from wanking. The last thing you remember is the soothing voice of a medical assistant reading off a pre-procedure checklist while he presses a breathing apparatus onto your face.

-

During the surgery, which is performed by Dr. Coitus himself, a small complication arises, however.