By...staying still.

The bell rings but you freeze, completely unable to consider how to react to this surreal scenario. Natrasha has no such qualms however, and the moment the bell rings, she comes barreling towards you.

“Hey, no, wait!” you yelp out. But it’s too late, the raccoon has already left the ground... and travelled right over your head.

But before you have the chance to relax, you find yourself flipped upside down and crash into the mat! “What... the... fuck...” you struggle to mumble out, scarcely able to believe what just happened.

“Oh my god, a Canadian Destroyer right out the gate!”

But Natrasha is not stopping there! Still on your back, the next thing you feel is her paws... claws... whatever they are on your feet. And then everything gets dizzy. Before you know it, you feel yourself getting dizzy and you are spun around... and around... and around... and around! Right as you think you might puke, you’re let go, sent flying across the ring, and decide to stay down on the mat.

“St-... -op...” you spurt out, pleading to the raccoon that you can just about see as you lie flat on your back. But you soon learn the futility of trying to speak with the creature. Almost as soon as she has climbed up to the top rope, Natrasha leaps off and lands on top of you after hitting a 450 Splash, or the “Trash Splash” as the announcer calls it.

For a moment or two, you swear you see a look in the raccoon’s eyes, contemplating whether or not to continue your punishment. Mercifully however, the raccoon sits on your stomach as the ref counts.

1.

2.

3!

“And your winner, as always, is the one, the only, Naaaaaaaaatraaaaaashaaaaaa!”

Despite the loud cheering, the exertion of this ridiculous affair has left you completely wiped out, and you soon drift off on the mat.