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Monty stood smiling between two women, one a cute little Brunette in a Bellhop costume, and the other a gorgeous Redhead in a large southern style ballgown, complete with plunging neckline.

"You know... during the break I asked Brent over there if he was interested swapping one of these lovely ladies for their slot in our little pricing game."

The crowd laughed appreciatively.

"So, he's not playing the pricing game! Instead, we've got Charlotte here from Reno, Nevada, and Joan from Carmel, California!"

The crowd cheered wildly, and I realized that for a few moments, I'd been unaware of anything save... well commercials. I had no memory of Monty asking me anything, and for a second I was tempted to object.

"Ok, so... He may come to regret that decision when I show you what we have for you to start!"

Monty waved at the curtain which pulled back to reveal a display shop mannequin clad in an elegant Golden Girdle. Below it was a small plaque which read "Hephaestus Tailoring"

"The Golden Girdle of desire! This unisex item fits men women and anything else needed. Guaranteed to make a splash at any occasion, this golden girdle is embroidered with some of the finest filigree and skill known! A prize worth, four Thousand years of WORSHIP!"

"Now that is beautiful. Anyone you could ever want," Monty rolled his eyes. "And I thought being rich made it easy. Now... that suggests something, So... I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Jay's coming down the Aisle with some of our lovely items, and we're going to play a little pricing game. Now whoever prices the most items correctly, now keep in mind this is the manufacturer's suggested retail price here in western civilization, circa Two Thousand Twenty. Whoever prices the most items correctly can have the girdle, AND what's behind it. And I'll even give you a hundred years of worship for every one of these items you price correctly. Ok. Now, Jay, can you tell us a little about the items we have here.""

The crowd laughed with good cheer as Jay took the microphone from Monty and began to speak.

"First up Monty, we've got Ecclesiastical Bounty! The Quicker Hereticer Upper! Cleans up Cults, Heresy and all embarrassing worshipers fast and easy. Ecclesiastical Bounty!"

"Ok... Joan... What do you think? Within two months."

"Uhm... I'm gonna guess... Six weeks!" The young woman replied, bringing her palms together in front of her face and gently clapping.

"Six Weeks! OK, Six weeks, from Joan, and now the lovely Charlotte O'hara... No, that's not your name, but frankly... I don't give a damn."

The crowd laughed loudly, as Charlotte smiled broadly, and cocked a hip at Monty in response.

"Jay... Jay, is my wife watching today? We may need to go to commercial again..."

Charlotte glanced at the wrapped package at the table and rolled her eyes.

"Uh... I'd say... Six weeks, Four Days."

Monty reached onto the table, and turned over the small sign marked with the product's name to reveal Seven Weeks Two Days. The response was instantaneous as the crowd cheered, signs being waved and general celebration ensuing. Monty eagerly handed a single blue bill to each woman.

"Ok, so that's One Hundred years for both of you... and we're off to a great start. Now, what's next Jay?"

"It's Rice-a-Roni! The San Francisco Treat! The original Box, made by the original immigrant from original Italy!"

"Oh, I've seen that one on this show a bunch of times... but never quite like this, Jay. Is it... is it still fresh in there?"

"I have no idea Monty."

"But we're... you know what? I don't really want this box... do either of you two ladies want it? Tell you what, if you get it right you can have the box of Rice-a-Roni or a Hundred years. What do you think Joan? Within... one month."

The young girl in the bellhop costume twitched back and forth nervously looking at the box.

"I'll say... Three Weeks Four days!"

"Three weeks, four days... hmm... that's pretty good... course... you know... that's pretty inexpensive."

Joan nodded her head up and down.

"Well, we'll see. But's let see what Charlotte thinks. You look way too calm, darling. Have I seen you here before?"

"If I had I sure has hell wouldn't tell you, Monty," Charlotte responded with a grin.

"OH HO HO! We've got a smart one here... Gotta love Women's Lib, huh guys? Ok... so... I'll just smile and let her guess at the price of the Rice-A-Roni!"

Charlotte looked at the box, and then back at Monty. Her smile never wavered as she spoke.

"Two weeks, Six Days," she said, her eyes dropping expectantly to the display tag.

"Two weeks, six days... And..." Monty flipped the tag over, revealing a sign that clearly read "Three Weeks."

"SO... that's A hundred years for both of you... unless one of you wants the box of Rice-A-Roni? Joan?" The young woman shook her head quickly. "Charlotte?"

Charlotte extended her hand towards the box. The crowd shouted their disapproval, with numerous chants of "Take the Worship!" coming from around me.

"I'll just give her the box... And I'll give Joan her her worship. Joan... Joan you don't look like you're a patient girl, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to offer you Curtain number one for all the worship you've got, and I'll even give you a peek to help you make up your mind."

Monty waved towards a small curtain which pulled open to the sound of harps once again.

It revealed a board with five golden Chariot Wheels on it, lazily spinning. A small picture of a one eyed man sat beneath the wheels as they rotated while the voice again boomed from above.

"That the Cyclops Forge Luxury Adamantium chariot wheels. Designed for any surface, ice, snow, desert, sand, sky, sea or even road! Guaranteed for the lifetime of the universe and Guaranteed to match any form of conveyance used in divine appearances. Normally these retail for Five years of Worship, but we're throwing in a second set, bringing the value of these Wheel to Ten Years of Worship!"

"What do you think Joan? Do you want the worship or the curtain?"

Joan didn't hesitate for a second, shoving the bills into Monty's hand, and pointing at the curtain with both hands.

"THE CURTAIN! Totally the curtain!" She shouted loudly, jumping up and down and smiling.

"Ok... She wants the curtain! Show us what's behind the wheels!"

The music played a jaunty tune, as the board displaying the wheels was rolled back to reveal a giant hobby horse rocking back and forth on the stage with a fat man dressed in a black and white children's outfit atop it, complete with ribboned straw hat.

"OH..." Sighed Monty, as a slide whistle played a slowly descending note. "Bad luck there Joan... our Giant Hobby Horse... complete with a Buster Brown... Carol... Carol, can you get him off that, he's having way too much fun up there. But yes, your own Giant Horse... good for sacrifices, bar mitzvahs, weddings, and any other occasion that needs a big set piece. Come on, that's just... yeah, you ride em, cowboy... Well, when he and Carol get finished over there... We'll continue. And I even get a kiss. Wow... I zonked her, and she still gives me a kiss. What was that dear?"

Monty extended the microphone to the woman, who was continuing to laugh happily.

"I said... I said, I have NO idea what I'm going to do with a bunch of wheels..."