Author’s Note

First off, as y’all are probably aware, this is my virgin attempt here. Updates will be sporadic at best due to the fact that I rarely have enough alone time with my archaic and barely functional laptop to really hammer out the volume of words that are swirling in my head. That said, I can usually get some time on Mondays so expect the bulk of my content to be delivered then. I kinda suck at deadlines so I’m not setting up a specific timeline. Some weeks you might see four or five chapters. Others it’ll be next to nothing.

Second point is that this story is a fictionalized account of a few incidents that occurred in my early twenties. As such it has a defined end point and I’m expecting it to turn in at somewhere between 50 and a hundred installments. All the names have been changed to protect the ignorant, I’m a thousand miles away from the scene of my crimes, and the statute of limitations is expired for most of them. Things could get a little dark depending on the direction this flows out and even though I lived through it, it was mostly in a **** fueled haze so there are times here that I might even surprise myself. Especially since I haven’t even thought of these events in more than 20 years.

Third, I’m generally pretty open to constructive criticism. If something strikes you, constant reader, as off please don’t hesitate to comment on it. Same for grammar errors and spelling mistakes. I’ll correct what I can or explain why I won’t. By the same token I’d really love to hear if a particular turn of phrase or a block of writing strikes your fancy as well. As an unpaid and unpublished author, your feedback is my food.

Fourth, there’s an Easter egg here for music fans. Every chapter ending/ beginning pair is a song lyric. Lemme know if you recognize ‘em.

Finally a quick thank you to everyone who’s already shown interest in my meager efforts. Less than a day and 142 views, two likes, and six favorites... that means a lot to me as a first timer. I’d also like to give a special thanks to Fantasy for writing well enough that I stuck around for more than a quick read, bobbobbobthethir for unintentionally helping me find my voice again, Gray0six for helping me to open up the floodgates of my creative side again, and ThreeNipps for giving me the final push necessary to shove me back spiraling into an old addiction. MC Lars compared the artist to the junkie (the song’s called Art of Darkness and really worth a listen BTW), and it looks like I’ve fallen off the wagon again, cooking my words in a spoon and shooting syringes full of inspiration into my bloodstream. Considering that I was starting to run short on vices (my addictions were down to nicotine and caffeine), I’m glad this is the one I picked back up. It’s less socially acceptable than pot, but I do it alone and always wash my hands afterwards.

In closing I’d like to quote a favorite musician of mine, Godforbid of That Handsome Devil. When asked how he wrote his music, his reply was “I eat life and shit lyrics.” Same goes for my prose.

Whysper

Update 10/22/19:

Good grief, it’s worse than I thought. I actually tried to not post today and failed. Dry mouth. Itchy palms. The junkie shuffle. Updates may come more regularly than anticipated.

Update 10/23/19:

So yeah, this may be an every day thing. Needed my fix again. Also wanted to thank the 275 people who checked out this story in just the last sixteen hours. Here I was thinking I’d get two maybe three readers...

Update 10/25/19:

Made it all the way through yesterday without typing a single word. I can quit any time I want. Seriously though I was bushed last night and hit the sack early instead of grinding away on the keys for a half hour to pound out what would have been a substandard chapter. More coming tonight. And y’all may or may not have noticed I was a bit of a douche when I was younger. While I don’t regret anything that I’ve ever done, nor do I condone it. Translation: please don’t try any of this at home. I’m a highly trained professional jackass.

Disclaimer 10/25/19:

What’s going to follow did happen, just not at this time. I’m compressing a week long courtship into one night. I probably could have taken her to bed that night, but even though I was a bit of a manwhore, she was drunk and I’m not that guy.

Update 10/27/19:

Worked late last night and early this morning but this has been burning a hole in my brain... just needed a little bump.

Update 10/28/19:

Seems like at least 300 of you are reading this day to day, at least when I do an update, but not a one of you has spoke up. I really wanna know what y’all think of what I’m throwing out there. Again, if something I write strikes you as good or, hell, you wanna bash me, comment. Knowing that you’re reading will keep me writing but I’d really love to hear your thoughts on stuff.

Update 11/01/19:

Spent last night handing out tooth rot to budding socialists and writing, but I somehow forgot to post it. Either way, here’s two more chapters.

Update whatever fucking day it is:

So since the 1st I’ve been working pretty much nonstop, and while this hasn’t had much effect on my writing previously, this time it’s done me in. A bunch of heel-and-toe shifts combined with temporarily going off my happy **** has basically burnt out all my desire to do anything except replay Fallout: New Vegas. Well in the words of Sir Psycho from the old Medieval Madness pinball game, “You can’t hurt me! I’M MEDICATED!” Thanks to the wonders of modern chemistry I’m back to being almost as well adjusted as Patrick Bateman and I can put all the stuff in my head into words so that the rats will stop chewing on my brain for a while. In other words, expect an update tonight.

Update purple heliotrope year of the butt scratcher:

Yeah. So real life sucks. New schedule at work is really cutting into my writing time. But I’m working on something right now.

Update Einstein’s moldy rat semen:

For those of you who don’t read Cyrillic the line in chapter 13 loosely translates to “My God, if you do I’ll kill you.” It’s been a long time since I wrote an oral sex scene, so please excuse my rustiness. (For those who DO read Cyrillic I apologize for my mangled translation and syntax)

Update The streets will flow with the croutons of the non believers:

Still getting used to the new work schedule. I also have an idea for something else percolating. My deepest apologies for taking this long to update.

11/28

Unlike most US citizens I don’t have today off. I work as a cook in an assisted living community for senior citizens, and we’re open for business 365 days a year, all holidays, 24 hours a day. This is my big day at work. Most holidays are about family or remembrance or the season or whatever (like Independence Day, which celebrates blowin shit up and drinking beer... I think). Today, while it’s TECHNICALLY about recalling everything you’re thankful for, is really about food. Being a cook isn’t just a job for me. It’s part of who and what I am. So today is pretty special for me. That said I’m still going to be working on my next installment today during my break. For those of you in the US, happy thanksgiving. For those of us who met the boat, Happy Native American Subjugation Day.

11/29

I feel I owe it to those of you actually reading this to say a couple things. First, thank you. Second, I’ve been given the opportunity to work on Fantasy’s awesome The Affection Multiplier, and that’s probably going to be my primary focus going forward. Third, I’m not done here. Updates may be even more sporadic now, but this story still has to be told or Leroy and Murray (The invisible aliens living in my fedora) will probably kill me if I don’t pound it out until a conclusion. So I’ll close this with a shameless plug. If you haven’t read The Affection Multiplier you should. There’s not a bad branch in the whole thing, and it’ll give y’all something to do while you wait for me to get off my lazy ass and finish this.