Ask for something quick

"Aww, honey, I'm dying, here!" you whine.

Sam looks at you with a mixture of annoyance and affection. "Well..."

"Maybe," you say, thinking quickly, "Maybe just some quick attention from your beautiful lips and toungue...down there?"

"Yuck! You know I don't like doing that!"

Uh-oh. Wrong move. Desperately, you blurt out, "Well, I'd do the same for you, if you asked for it."

Your wife laughs. "You'd give me a blowjob, would you?"

"No, not a blowjob. You know. I'd go down on you. If you asked for it. I do it all the time, and, frankly, I like it because it makes you feel so good."

"But that's not the same thing, Paul" she says.

"Why not?"

"Well, for one thing, I don't have a penis, silly! You ever have a penis in your mouth?"

You hesitate a moment, the weird image of your wife standing before you with an erect penis pointing at your face popping into your mind. You momentarily find the picture strangely erotic before you bannish it from your mind and reply, "Nope. Never."

"Well, if I had a penis, you'd be singing a different song."

"Honey," you say, suddenly inspired, "If you had a penis and wanted me to suck on it, I'd do it. I love you, and I want you to be happy."

Sam pauses for what seems like forever as you smile at her, wondering if the weird thing you just said is turning her on or freaking her out.