April.

“Well, hello, Rob.”

It’s April, and you have to at least acknowledge her. You turn toward the door, which brings you around to face her; she’s standing close enough that you’ll have to actively go around her. You nod and say, “Hello, April,” then take a step to your right.

She shifts to block you. Her face is compassionate, but a glint in her eye belies her expression. The gentleness in her voice rings a little false as she asks, “Were you looking for me?”

Clearly, she expects you to want her back, and she intends to take a moment to enjoy that—at least a little bit. You don’t want her back at all, of course, but you’re surprised to realize that having her show up in your face hasn’t brought back your anger. You still just feel sorry for her, which keeps you calm. To be honest, it makes you feel a little superior to April, which makes it easy to ignore her attempt to provoke you. “No,” you say, matter-of-factly, shaking your head. “If you’ll excuse me—” You make another attempt to step around her.

Your refusal to follow April’s script throws her off-balance and rattles her. She ought to just let you go, but you’ve pricked her ego, and it appears she’s not willing to let you do that without a fight. A little louder, she says, “Come on, Rob. You put up a good show, but we both know you want me back.”

You look at her for a moment. As mildly as you can manage—no point in letting her rile you up—you say, “No, actually, I don’t. If you’ll excuse me?” This time, you take a step to your left.

April’s eyes flash. She doesn’t get mad very often, but she does have a temper, and it’s starting to rise. She raises her voice again as she says, “Do you really expect me to believe that?”

Suddenly, you feel weary of the whole thing. “April,” you say reasonably, “you’re making a scene. Feel free to believe whatever you want to believe. I don’t care. Would you please let me past? I need to grab a coffee to go and head out.”

Scornfully, April demands, “And where do you have to go that’s so important?” You start to think you might need to give her a jolt just to get past her.