Andreas lands in Santamaranarapivo

A large part of Santamaranarapivo Airport was dedicated to international stopovers between the Americas and the Old World. This part was housed in a virginal white building, and it was positively teeming with travellers of all creeds, cultures and colors. Here, there was very little in the way of distinctive Luranian weirdness.

However, things changed drastically nce you got past customs.

It was a harrowing, lengthy process. First, you had to get your visa checked. Then, they checked your luggage on any forbidden tech (which there was a lot of) and searched you. Finally, there was a big repository where they guarded any forbidden tech you had on you (such as smartphones) in a locker for the duration of your stay.

It was very hard for Andreas to leave his phone there - it felt more like leaving behind a piece of his kidney. But he told himself that it was for the best.

After this came the passage into the new world.

As he descended a long, slow-moving escalator, he was immediately struck by the color change: passionate burgundy instead of pure white.

An ominous, repetitive chant vibrated his skull, coming from loudspeakers all around him. It went like this:

"Imparahoka nustiaka moltirata heilthis / Imparahoka moltirata nustiata altheiva"

Those Luranians and their weird-ass language...

Screens mounted on the ceiling showed what looked like barechested Luranian rugby players or wrestlers partaking in this chant while doing some intimidating ooga-booga dance.

The chant faded away and made place for a silky smooth R&B song with female vocals, in similarly incomprehrensible Luranian. The screens showed glamorous ladies in carnival getup, dressed as figure skaters, or belly dancers. Glitter for everyone. All of them had perfect hourglass figures.

As the escalator finally approached the ground floor, Andreas spotted several families with children. All of the kids sported what looked like dark sunglasses.

He also spotted a rather tall, blonde woman holding up a big sign: "Mr. Andreas Pfeiffer, Netherlands." As he reached the ground floor, he walked towards this Amazon, who was taller than him.

"Glad to have found you, Mr. Pfeiffer," the tall Luranian woman said to him. She rather sounded like an old school radio announcer. "Now I can finally get rid of this unwieldy sign." She unceremoniously tore the cardboard sign into several pieces and deposited them in the nearby bin.

"Nice to meet you too," Andreas said after she had done this, shaking her hand.

"My name is Wenkeslava. But you can all me Wen. I will be your assigned bodyguard, at least for the first part of your stay. Follow me, please." And that is what Andreas did, feeling rather safe in the presence of this giantess.