Alpha has her

“This isn’t my style/ How does Harako do it?/ I can’t write haiku.” Kim mumbled at the edge of the hot spring. She put the paper away and rested her head on the rocks.

“Aahhh, I deserved this. Nice job Delta,” she moaned. Her doppelganger was also in the water with her, giving Kim a nice, relaxing foot massage.

“Hey, Kimmy,” Alpha said, walking outside the castle. “Mind if I join you?”

“Sure Kimmy, I could use a shoulder rub anyway. Done with your jobs?” Alpha took off her kimono and it disappeared. It didn’t matter anymore. She sat next to the original.

“Yeah, kinda. After cleaning, I went to supply the kitchen as you ordered, but I accidentally dropped all the Laughing Tomatoes and Immortal Peaches …then I “accidentally” stomped them into a fine paste. So, whoopsie, now we have to go and get more fruit.”

“What?! H-”

“Since I didn’t want to do that, I went to check on my sisters. Beta was supposed to give a human Q&A in the magical college. I decided to give her a break and replaced her for five minutes. After I made a tiny, innocent comment about sororities, half the magical students wanted to make their own fraternities, but weren’t clear on how hazing worked.”

“What does that have to do with-”

“So I demonstrated examples of hazing with the top alumni of the class and the professor’s ruler. Oh boy, they were not happy, let me tell you that. They demanded I gave them a first-hand example of a human undergoing the same initiation. When they took out the paddles, I sneaked away from the angry crowd and told Beta to hide in our room so that she didn’t get paddled either.”

“That’s not-”

“Went to see Gamma next. She was the private waiter of a VIP group of drunk fairies. They were playing strip poker. Gamma was losing, so I discreetly took her place and started winning, cleaned them up actually.

“They had to start doing dares to keep playing. I made the little winged freaks streak around the casino, doodle on their bodies, dance on the tables, do jumping jacks at the entrance, dive-bomb a giantess cleavage, make them cluck like chickens and run in circles. All the good stuff.

“Of course, winning is not polite, so when Gamma returned, she ended up losing again. The fairies were quite eager to turn the tables, but I couldn’t let them inflict such horrible dares to us. I grabbed Gamma and we slinked away while the fairies were giggling. Dodged a bullet on that one.”

“No, you didn’t!” Kim exploded. “The jobs aren’t done, the other clones will have to go back and work another shift at those horrible tasks to make up for leaving! You made it worse for everyone, even yourself, and me by association!”

“Whaaaat? Really? How?” Despite the serious situation, Alpha seemed at ease. A smug smile was glued to her face.

“Yes, really! You’ll have to go and get more fruit on the Celestial Court and the Infinity Market! They don’t like us in either place, remember? You’ll have to sneak in, steal them, and pray you are not seen! Do you want another go at the stocks? To have the same Laughing Tomatoes thrown at your face?!”

“Oh gosh, no. I remember that being awful.”

“Then what about having the Jade Emperor personally practice the ancient art of tickle **** in front of the whole Celestial Palace? Cause that’s what’s going to happen if you get captured!”

Alpha looked behind Kim and grinned. “See, that’s where you are wrong. I won’t have to do it, my sisters won’t have to do it. Only Kim has to do it.”

Kim narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

A tall, muscular man clad in a toga had just entered the castle ground along with his attendants. “…At least there wasn’t wrestling this time,” Morpheus said. “Oh hey, Kim. Are you safeguarding my necklace? Thanks, I’ll be taking it now.”

With but a gesture, the necklace floated away from Kim and flew into the neck of her boss, who didn’t even stop walking while he talked to his entourage. “Yeah, it’s the latest in weight loss. You can make a clone to eat all the food that you want and you won’t gain a pound...”

Alpha Kim waved the original goodbye and disappeared in a poof of smoke. Delta also vanished, leaving only ripples in the water around her.

Her memories, the memory of all her clones, they all flashed in Kim’s head. She sank into the spring, her face now hotter than the water. A barrage of bubbles hit the surface. “Aaaaah! I have been naked at work again! Ugh, why would I care about duct tape so much!? ...I hope Jira saved me that slice of cake... Wait, my plan! I mean, her plan! Oh no, I hope they don’t-”

“Kim!” a dwarf yelled. “There you are! We’ve been looking for you!” Kim looked back with fear. Her supervisor was there, standing over her discarded kimono and looking quite mad. Behind her were a group of equally angry gnomes holding paddles, tipsy fairies barely flying straight, and a troll with a chef hat.

“Eep.” Still submerged, Kim twiddled with her fingers. “Hehe, hi girls. What If I told you that this was all a big misunderstanding? Let’s ignore today and start anew tomorrow, ok?”

“Get out right now or we’ll drag you out of the water!”

Uh-oh, they were not in a negotiating mood. With uneasy steps, Kim timidly exited the water in her birthday suit. At paddle point, she was escorted back to the palace where a mountain of unpleasant work awaited her. They didn’t even let her pick up her kimono.

Kim gulped and bit her lip, she certainly taught herself a lesson this time.