A private moment with Trina

By the time you and Trina return to the Mill, the crowd is truly on the move; had you waited any longer, it is likely you would not have been able to make your way through them in time! As it is, you must change back into your royal garb quickly, and as time is short you are compelled to change together rather than taking turns. It is hardly the first time you have seen Trina "out of uniform" so to speak - sharing quarters with the rest of the Kingsguard gives her no luxury of modesty. But, it IS the first time in many years that you have been so distracted by the presence of her in her smallclothes!

"Would that we had more time," you say conversationally.

"Yes, Sire." Her demeanor has returned fully to the woman of the Kingsguard, stoic and implaccable.

"Lady Trina," you say to her. "I... I am glad we had this morning together, as we did. It has not been often since I became King that I could enjoy myself in this manner, and as one who was once a commoner, I find that I miss such times very much indeed. But I sense even through the mask you now wear that you do not share these feelings, that you are indeed most unhappy. Perhaps it is not my business, but..."

"I am neither happy nor sad, Sire," Trina says, uncharacteristically interrupting - and what is more, she does not even seem to notice, which is unheard of. "I have a duty, and I strive to fulfill it. That is all."

"Lady Trina," you say, "I have never known anyone more dedicated to duty than you, and I am truly blessed to have you among my Kingsguard. But just for one moment longer, could we not simply be a man and a woman?"

"If that is your command," she whispers.

"It is not the command of a King. It is merely the wish of a simple man, one which you must not feel obligated to grant... Sara."

Her shoulders stiffen slightly, and then she seems to **** herself to relax. "Please understand, Sire," she says softly. "I do not have the luxury of behaving as I might wish, just as you do not. I know full well that my every action is scrutinized, that any misstep will be taken by some - by most - as a sign that I do not deserve my honors, that a woman has no place on the Kingsguard."

"Not by me," you assure her. "Never by me. And I am the only one here."

She takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly. "What is said here and now must never leave this room, I beg of you," she whispers.

"Of that, you have my word."

She turns to you, and her bright blue eyes shine with unshed tears; you have never seen her look so ****. "There is much I would say," she says softly, "but there is no time, and I do not know if I could say it if there were. For the moment, I would only say something which I promised myself I would forever keep hidden; but my heart will not allow me to be silent, and I will not offer lies especially to you, so I must speak this truth. It is known to you, I am sure, that I have never sought to win a man's affections."

"I have noticed," you reply.

"It is not because I find men unappealing... nor is it because they find me so, except for those I would not wish to know in any event. But to succumb to such feelings would make me weak, and I cannot allow that. I satisfy my needs with other women, which I am sure does not surprise you; I know what the whisperers say about me, and the rumors must have reached your ears."

You respond only by nodding.

"When I first came before you to offer my sword to your service, I saw the same look in your eyes as I have seen in men everywhere," Trina says. "I mean no slight against you, Sire; it is in the nature of men that a woman's appearance is what makes the first impression upon them, and I know that my face and figure are not what one expects to see in a warrior. But you accepted my service, gave me the chance to prove myself even when nearly all your coucil advised otherwise. I was grateful for that, even though I suspected that perhaps you were merely giving me the chance to fail so that I would give up such foolishness and take up a life more suited to a woman."

"That was never my intent," you assure her.

"I know that, now," Trina says. "For you see, something happened then that I did not expect. Over time, and not even so long a time, your eyes changed as you saw beyond that first glance, and recognized in me the woman I have always striven to be: one who may perhaps be pleasing to the eye, but also as strong, as brave, and as dedicated as any man. I feel sometimes that you are the only man who has ever seen me exactly as I would wish to be seen." She looks down at the floor just in front of your feet. "I do not have the words to tell you what that has meant to me. Xavier... if ever there were a man who... who I would..."

Trina trails off, and at last one of the tears she has been striving desperately to hold back drips down her cheek.

You take a cautious step toward her, and offer a silk handkerchief, which she takes with a hand that she clearly struggles to keep from quivering. "Trina," you say softly, "you must know that I will never see you as weak, nor could I think less of you in any other way. On the contrary, I now have ever greater admiration for your courage. There are many who are brave with steel in their hands, but only a scant few have the fortitude to reveal what lies deep within their hearts."

"Will you permit me just one moment of true weakness?" she whispers.

"No one has earned it more."

She looks up at you then, takes a step forward... and just before it happens, you know what she intends. Her eyes close, and her trembling lips rise up to meet yours.

Her full lips are so soft, and the kiss so delicate, it feels for a moment as though you kiss the flower still in her hair. It lasts only the span of a heartbeat before she pulls away, and her deep blue eyes open to meet yours before she steps back.

It takes a moment for you to find your voice, but before you can speak, Trina does first. "Let this moment never be spoken of again," she says. "What has been said and done was between Xavier and Sara, not between the King and Lady Trina. If we are indeed but a man and woman at this time and place, then please do this for me."

"If that is your wish, Sara," you reply.

Trina nods, her eyes lowering to the floor. "And... am I still Sworn Protector of the Crown?" she asks in a whisper almost too low to be heard.

"For as long as you will it to be so, Lady Trina Sarawynn of the Kingsguard," you reply, "even should the day come when you can no longer summon the strength to lift a sword."