A miniaturization device

"So?" asked Alice as she gazed at the address on the little piece of paper she held in her hand. "1313 Browning Lane. Interesting name for an address. I hope it's not an omen."

"Oh, don't be like that," said her friend Riley. "This city is not that bad. It's not like the place where I used to live where I was always having to wear a cross after sundown and I was always having to fill out a concealed carry permit for my stake and my crossbow."

"Er, what kind of place was that?" asked Alice.

"I forget," said Riley. "I've lived in so many places over the years that I sometimes forget certain place names. But then I was a military brat so moving from place to place is kinda in my blood, so to speak. Though I must admit my one year in Bon Temps, Louisiana, was pretty memorable."

"You lasted a year in that place?" asked Alice.

"Oh, it was not so bad," said Riley. "Merlotte's Bar and Grill was a cool place to hang out and I always liked how this one waitress always seemed to get my order ready before I even told her anything. I swear it was almost as if that girl could read my mind sometimes. Of course, I never cared too much for her older boyfriend. Or for that matter, her -- but hey! I'm keeping you from that job interview."

"I'm not so sure I want to apply here," said Alice.

"Hey, it said you had to be fully dressed," said Riley. "Isn't that the type of job you wanted?"

"Why can't I have a job like yours?" asked Alice. "You seem to be doing okay -- and you obviously get to wear clothes."

"Well, thanks, but right now I'm off work and besides my fellow Slay -- er -- my co-workers probably wouldn't permit it," said Riley. "So let's go get you that job!"

As the two women stepped inside, she noticed that the place was basically just a small house with a laboratory located in the garage. In the laboratory was a redhead in her thirties who looked at Alice and said, "So you're my one o'clock."

"I guess I am," said Alice, glancing at her watch to make sure that it was in fact one o'clock. "Where do I start?"

"Well, you did fill out the online application, right?" asked the brunette.

"Right," said Alice. "And you are?"

"Lavond," said the brunette. "Professor Paula Lavond. No relation, of course. I need you to go behind that curtain and remove your shoes and your jewelry. Please leave behind your watch and your purse as well."

"But I thought that I was supposed to be fully dressed for this job?" asked Alice.

"You are," said Professor Lavond. "But some substances in those items might not agree with the device that I'll be testing on you. And of course, certain forms of radiation cause havoc with the likes of a wristwatch. Which reminds me -- you do have a cell phone, right?"

"Yes," said Alice. "I keep it in my purse."

"Good," said Professor Lavond. "Keep it there. Now do what I said and then join me over here in the center of the lab."

Riley just shrugged as Alice went behind the curtain and took off her shoes, her earrings, her class ring and her watch. Then she put down her purse and walked over to the center of the lab where Professor Lavond was waiting for her with a strange-looking object in her hands.

"What's that?" asked Alice.

"A transformation device," said Professor Lavond.

"But it looks like a gun," said Alice.

"Of course it does," said Professor Lavond. "It looks less suspicious this way."

"Suspicious?" asked Alice.

"Oh, relax," said Professor Lavond. "I'm only joking. I designed it this way to make the device easier to carry. I've successfully tested it on animals and not one of them showed any ill effects. So you should be safe."

"Oh, good," said Alice. "So what does it do?"

"It makes you smaller," said Professor Lavond.

"Oh, that's interesting," said Alice. "Does it just work on organic flesh or does it work on clothes as well?"

"Good question," said Professor Lavond. "Let's find out."

"What?" asked Alice.

But before Alice could move, Professor Lavond had already fired the device in her direction. Before she knew it, she was covered with a strange glowing sensation and then -- the sensation disappeared.

The next thing Alice knew, she was standing stark naked in the middle of what appeared to be an enormous pair of underpants. In fact, they looked like her underpants. Or at least like the ones she had been wearing before Professor Lavond had used the transformation device.

Her other clothes were still intact too but they were way too large for her to wear right then.

"Okay," Alice tried to say with a bravado she did not quite feel as she stood shivering on the laboratory floor. "That was fun. So when do you test out the reverse function on that thing? You know? The one that makes me larger again?"

"Right now," said Professor Lavond.

And again she fired the device in Alice's direction. And again Alice was covered with a strange glowing sensation.

Hey, Alice thought, I could get used to this.

Then just like that, Alice was her normal size again. And still naked.

Oh, well, she thought. At least there were no bad side effects.

Then she bent down to pick up her clothing -- only to see her clothes crumble into dust the minute she tried to pick them up.

"Hmm," said Professor Lavond. "I didn't see that coming."