A hastily-chosen haste spell!

"They say time flies when you're having fun! But in this footbound fiasco I've fallen afoot of, I'd prefer the less-fun part fly by a bit faster, therefore..."

The songstress never internalized a monologue she could speak aloud, so her words fell upon the deaf ears of the fog around her as she retrieved her lute, plucking a couple of chords tentatively as though she hadn't been tuning the thing on the entire ride prior. "La la la laaa~ Do re mi fa so la ti doooo~ Peeer-feeect piiitch there, Piiipeeeer!~" The woman gave herself a verbal pat on the back before clearing her throat to turn that pat on the back into a shove.

With a happy-go-lucky skip, Piper began putting one foot in front of the other, traveling down the dusty road in the strange fog. "I suffer not a chance go past; I favor travelin' rather fast! A fool I'd be to watch and wait; I'll march to a far faster gait!~"

As her voice rang out around her, although her smile remained calm and serene, her lackadaisical skipping picked up speed until it looked like an improbable marathon run, then so fast it appeared to be a blur. As she did, her voice sped up as well: while she was still speaking the words, anyone who heard them would be hearing them first at double speed, then quadruple, then something that no longer sounded like words, but a strange, high-pitched buzz:

"A hare am I, making such time; On er'ry break, I dream a rhyme! Tistwentythtimethistortoisepassed;Iamsoveryveryfast!I-- ----- -------------------"

In no time at all, Piper had cleared the strangely localized fog at the outskirts of Merridan and was making great time, even better than she'd expected. After only five minutes, she was already at the half-way point, and as she'd expected, she'd hardly met another soul. Well, there had been that strange, unfriendly-looking horseman who'd tried to chase her, then whined and tapered off when he couldn't keep up, but other than that, smooth sailing... She'd traveled in five minutes what would have been an hour, ordinarily.

There was just one problem...

She had traveled in five minutes what should have been an hour, ordinarily.

If there was anyone on the road to see it, they'd observe a speeding sea-green blur suddenly become a panting, wheezing young woman, holding her knees and gasping for breath. Piper had been in some low places, but that had been a long time ago: now she cultivated a carefully curated, manicured appearance of a mysterious woman who always had a secret to share and a smile on her face. With no one around, however, she allowed herself to clench her teeth in a tense expression of unbridled frustration, sweat rolling off every exposed surface of her tanned body and coating the undersides of her pits. "Hooooooly shiiiiiiit...! I'm gonna hurl..." She reverted to the rough language of her youth and almost did as she was threatening.. She wanted so badly to sit down and rest, but if she did, she couldn't be certain she wouldn't pass out.

"Come on, Piper... Y-you can do this... You've got good legs... You've got powerful pipes... The most powerful...! Ahem... Do re mi laa...~ I haven't time to waste, mama, no not a s-single second; Itravelcrossthesunnyroadb'yondwhichmyhomebeckonedI--- ------- ---- --fastfastfast f-fast oh fuuuuu-"

With a burst that carried her about as far as she could see just seconds earlier, she came out of her sprint like she was dying, flailing her arms and tumbling down the road. She raised her face from the dirt and allowed herself a pathetic, raspy groan that, somehow, still sounded a bit like an attempt at singing. "Auuugh! I'm gonna diiiie out heeeere~! This is the woooorst!~ Oh!" Ceasing her whining for a second, the hoarse songstress buffeted her hands clean , then cupped them around her eyes like binoculars. Immediately, her natural smile returned. "Merridan! Oh, the gate awaits! Sweet Merridan calls to me, aye!"

Piper started walking, each leg feeling completely leaden. The gate wasn't just in sight; she was sure it was a mere ten long tavern halls away! She wondered why not a soul was out on the road approaching it, but the fact that she was measuring the distance in tavern halls ought to speak to the fact that wasn't her primary concern. And yet... "Oh blasted blisters! Oh minutes of masochism! Zounds, but it stings!"

Grinning with fool-hardy determination, Piper decided that if she was going to die walking to Merridan, she was going to do it quickly. "I outrun **** itself, says I, the reaper reaps but nothing! HetimeshiscutbutImaketime,thecut-up'scutleftwanting I -- ------ -- I... Bleeeegh...."

Feeling her feet finally touch upon the cobblestones inside the city gate, unaware of whether or not any guard had tried to stop the blur she was a moment ago, Piper raised her arms in victory, balling her fists in the air. "I'm... the greatest damn singer... and runner of all time..." Her deathrattle was too quiet for anyone in the bustling square to hear, aside from herself.

Dramatically, she fell forward onto the stones, landing with her cheek on her arm. She felt completely unable to move or even speak, dizzy from dehydration, so she spoke her final words to herself in her head. "I wonder if the bards will write song of my noble deed... Ah, fum and fie, I am the bards... or, was, anyway..."

Piper's hasty adventure began to draw to an inglorious end. Was there no one who would save her...?!