A game with high stakes

"You can't wait any longer, Amy," Lisa snapped me out of my daydream. A seductive smile played around her lips as she noticed my longing look. Everyone had bragged about their sexual experiences as if they were the greatest experts in the art of pleasure. They talked about how women could never get enough and how they loved to live out their sexual desires. I had joined in so that I would not be labeled a prude or inexperienced.

But this seemingly harmless banter turned into a game with high stakes. The other girls saw my supposed willingness and curiosity as an invitation to live out their own fantasies and desires. It was as if they had smelled my vulnerability and wanted to feast on it.

At first I had hesitated, wondering whether I was really ready to cross these boundaries. But the pressure from the group and my own desire to belong were stronger. I wanted to prove that I could be just as brave and experimental as the others.

So I got involved in the game without really understanding what it meant. The rules were vague and unclear, an undefined construct of lust and dominance. It was a game that took away my control over my own body and my own needs.

And now I'm lying here, tied to the bed, while the others look at me expectantly. Their gazes are full of greed and desire, as if they see me as their personal playground.

A "volunteer" was wanted. A victim? A decoy? "Bad luck in games brings good luck in love" Sophie had said and suggested a game. It was actually quite simple. I always won the card game. I had a talent for using the cards to my advantage and outplaying my opponents. It was my skill that had encouraged me to get involved in this game. I was convinced that I would stay in control.

But when the moment arrived, I was overcome by an unexpected nervousness. The looks on the other girls' faces as they looked at me expectantly made me feel insecure. My heart was beating faster, my hands were shaking slightly and I started to make mistakes.

The game slipped out of my hands while my thoughts were flooded with doubts. Why had I let myself in for this game? Had I really thought that I would always win? Uncertainty gnawed at me and made my usual security fade.

The pressure of expectations weighed heavily on my shoulders as I felt my concentration fading. Every mistake increased my nervousness and led to more mistakes. It was a vicious circle from which I couldn't escape.

The other girls noticed my weakness and exploited it mercilessly. They enjoyed seeing me fail, watching me in my vulnerability.