A few hours ago everything was fine

Before that total bummer of a day began, and before I was all gross with sea salt and sand, I got woken up with a blowjob. So the perfect day wasn’t just about bonding with nature, I got a squeeze a little piggish fun in there too. My wife Jasmine had a vice grip on the base of my cock, and her mouth around the rest of the length. Her tongue ran around my head slowly, and slowly, like we weren’t in a rush to get anywhere. “Oh, thank you.” I mumbled sleepily, running my hand through her brown hair. It was a frizzy mess that wasn’t helped along by years of ocean water and sun bleaching. “Mmm.” I smiled and accidentally fell asleep for like two more minutes. You can call me boring, but I'm willing to say that you've never had a true blowjob if you haven't fallen asleep during one. There's just something so comfortable and warm about the way she did it that made me drift off. You know what? Let’s just say 15 minutes, because when I woke up I was just about to blow my load. So I’d like to say it wasn’t mad fast. “Aaaah.” I groaned pleasantly, squirting into her mouth like a kid's water gun. “You’re wasting it.”

“I’m not wasting it.” My tanned goddess said mischievously, licking the last traces of sperm from my pulsing head. “I’m having my breakfast.”

“You’re gross.” I sighed, then raised my arm over my eyes, and considered falling back for another fifteen.

“You’re gross.” She shot back, laying beside me, hand on my chest. “Besides, it wasn’t even that much. I pretty much drained you of everything last night.”

“Yeah.” She was an animal. Let me tell you, there’s no horny like ‘put a baby in me’ horny. “Thanks for that by the way. You’re a cool lady.” I put my hand over her womb, and willed life into it. Not as vigorously as I had the night before, but I was still putting in some genuine effort.

“Want me to make you breakfast?”

I grinned sheepishly. “Nooooo?”

“Why not?” She sat up.

“You wake me up with a BJ, and then make me breakfast? I can feel my status as a feminist slipping.”

She rolls her eyes. “Well I want to do those things, so chew on that while you’re chewing on breakfast. Besides I’m really just paying you forward for all the pampering you’re going to give me when I’m bearing your child.”

“I don’t know.” I scratched my chin, and sat up. “I still think I should at least eat you out before you make me french toast, and bacon, with a class of OJ, it only seems right.”

She grins at this, but instead of coming back to bed she sits down if a blue chair in the corner and spreads her legs. “That sounds like a deal to me.”

“Ugh.” I groan, the bed feels like it’s eating me alive, but there’s pussy to be licked. So I gather up all my strength and roll out of bed. Once I hit the floor, I crawl over to that beauty, and put my hand on the hem of her pajama pants. She lifted her butt up a bit so I could pull her pants down to her ankles. Her thick bush greeted, and I felt the same joy the sun must feel when it crosses over a field of flowers during spring. “Mmm mmm mmm.” I sighed and gave her straight dark hairs a lick and a kiss. I loved the natural look, gotta say.

Her lips were smooth and bald, and as I ran my tongue down between them I could taste her. She was like hours away from ovulating so her juices where thick and white. Which kind of made me think about the nine and a half gallons of sperm I shot into her last night, which kind of made me think I was eating my own sperm as I worked on her, which kind of made me gag a few times. But whatever, if you love a lady be willing to eat at least a little sperm. Just in case.

I fucked around with her lips and her hole for about ten minutes before my tongue started to get tired, so I was **** to attack the clit directly. I gave that naughty button a few passionate kisses before my tongue went to work spelling the alphabet. She really seemed to enjoy ‘Z’ This time around, so I started slashing Z’s into that bad boy like my name of Zoro. My hands where behind her, cupping her back, pulling her closer into me. Not for a better angle on Z, I just wanted to be closer to her.

Sometimes a hug just wasn’t enough. I would say that sometimes I just wanted to be inside of her, but that would make me sound like a psycho, or a pervert. So I’ll say that sometimes physical companionship, yes even oral sex fails to join two beings as thoroughly as they are conjoined in the spiritual sense.

At least that’s what I told aching tongue, because this god damn woman was refusing to cum! She was moaning and squirming, and running her fingers through my hair, but I wasn’t getting anywhere.

…

I think I suck at eat pussy.

French Toast.

How could a perfect day start out with anything but? It was crispy, and creamy and just the right amount of sweet. Christ on a cracker. I wanted to put a baby in her, just so I could share her wonderful french toast with someone. “You’re a miracle.”

She smiled, and threw the dirty pan into the sink, not even soaking it. Dishes were my deal, so she felt a complete freedom to dirty as many things as possible while cleaning.

What?

I can be in love, and bitter. I’m not superman.

Jasmine was the love of my life, only girl I ever loved, honest. And it’s not just because we’d been dating since high school. Well maybe it was, I don’t know. We’d been married for two years. We were best friends, who almost completely ruined our relationship because we got jealous when the other person dated someone. It was pretty dicey there for a while, but at one point we were sitting on her bed trying to figure out how to make our friendship work, and we just realized what was up. If we just dated each other, no one else could!

I always admired her. If for nothing else, I admired her for never becoming a stripper even though her name andy body shape were begging for the position. She was tall, and busty, and sexy, and tall, and her butt was like two bubbles, and you could bounce a coin off of her stomach, and she had the cutest toes, I could go on. I could fill many a page with all the tiny things about her that gave me a boner. But for the sake of brevity just imagine your dream girl… then accept that she’s fucking ugly compared to my wife!

That was rude, I’m sorry.

You have good taste though, I saw who you were imagining. Nice.

“So what’s your job have you doing today?” She began to dig into her own french toast.

“Oh you know, surfing, sunning, I might write a few lines for my book, see where the muse takes me.” I yolo’d my entire life savings into GameStop and got out at the top, so i was kind of set for life. I was a professional beach bum now.“What about you?”

“I have to check with the Port Authority about the quarantine situation. I feel bad for putting all the dogs through it.” She was opening up a dog cafe on the island… she also yolo’d her life savings on GameStop. Any new dogs on the island had to bet set aside for 120 days to make sure they didn't have lycanthropy or whatever diseases dogs carry.

“Sounds like a headache.”

“I’m sure it will be.”

I chuckled and sipped from my coffee. “And you made me breakfast, sucker.”

She smiles at me, white teeth absolutely brilliant against her skin. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

After breakfast I left my soulmate for the woman I was cheating on her with.

“Hello beautiful.” I whispered sweetly to my surfboard. “Did you miss me?” I rubbed the yellow and blue number like I would the belly of a cat. She was just that sweet. “Yeah, I know you did. Listen I had to be with the wife yesterday okay? But I’m here now.” I planted a kiss on it, and headed off into town, swim trunks and all.

I grabbed a cup of coffee, and made a quick stop at city hall before heading off to my secret cove. There was some big event going on in front of the place, so there were rows of chairs already lined up, while a certain brunette in a pink blouse wandered around biting her nails.

“Coffee delivery.” I announced, holding out the mocha for Miranda.

She was surprised to see me at first, but that slight look of panic on her face quickly turned to a friendly smile. “You better not be here to watch this stupid thing.” She took my coffee and took a swig without even flinching at the heat, now that was a strong woman.

I shook my head. “No, no of course not. Why would I ever want to support my friend?”

Miranda had moved to the island about a year ago, and got a job working for city hall. I’m not really sure what her official position was, but it always felt like one of those shadow government positions. ‘Secretary of Operations.’ something like that. Which I guess meant she was the person who unfolded all the chairs early in the morning.

When she wasn't doing lawn decorating she was my surf buddy. She fucking thrashed dude, she was like a mermaid I swear. I felt like an idiot whenever I was out on the waves with her, she was just so graceful. Plus we was really fucking cool, we had all the same interests, video games, girls with big asses, and of course surfing.

“It’s embarrassing, that’s all.” She sipped her coffee again. “We’re supposed to be beach bum buddies. I feel like a sellout when see me and I’m not wearing my wet suit.”

“I get it.” You pat her on the shoulder. “But if it makes you feel better I'm pretty sure making a fortune on the stock market is the very definition of selling out. There’s no shame in work. You saw me working at the surf shack all the time. I feel like being with city hall, is slightly less embarrassing.”

She rolls her eyes, and crosses her arms. “You’ve obviously never had the mayor leer at you before. Thanks though. I appreciate you NOT showing up today.”

“So what’s this big announcement the Mayor’s having you make anyway? Are we getting Broadband?”

The great sphinx itself could not have held a better secret that this woman. She just cocked an eyebrow and smiled. Then pantomimed zipping her lips shut.

“You’re no fun when you wear the blouse.”

That she could agree with. “I’m much more fun naked, yes. Don’t say stuff like that around your wife, she already hates me as is.”

“She doesn’t hate you.” I lied. “She’s jealous of every living female on this island, not just you. Old women, babies, dogs. It’s sad really. If I didn’t love her so much, it would be really unattractive.”

“And you’ve told her that I’m a lesbian?”

Yes I had. “She’s scared that my mojo is so incredible it’ll turn you straight. Can’t say I blame her.”

“Barf.” She didn’t seem particularly impressed with my mojo. “You better get out of here, dude. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep myself from making love to you.”

“Then for the sake of your job, I’ll go. But! If you change your mind, and want me to see your big presentation give me a call, and I’ll be over. Unless the surf is choice, in which case I will miss the birth of my own child.”

She made a face, and cocked her other eyebrow. “I’d rather have sex with a man, than have you see me give a speech at city hall.”

“Oh no! It’s already happening! She’s thinking about men!” I looked at my board. “Let’s go, before I steal her from the women of this island forever!” I ran off as fast as I could without having my board knock over a few chairs.

“You’re an ass!” She slurped at her coffee some more. “Thanks for the Mocha!”

(Awful Background)