(Chapter IV.III) Lord Cage Sees Your Good Deeds

“YOU DID IT! YOU FINALLY KILLED ONE OF THOSE DARK MERCENARIES! I WAS WONDERING WHAT WAS TAKING YOU SO LONG!”

Lord Cage’s voice booms down from the Heavens once more, a shaft of golden light tearing the dark darkness of the black night open.

“I was supposed to kill them?” you ask, bewildered.

“WHAT, DID YOU THINK I WANTED YOU TO FUCK THEM SILLY? I MEAN, I DID, BUT I ALSO WANTED YOU TO KILL THEM. ANYWAYS, THE POINT IS, NOW YOU HAVE DONE IT, AND SO YOU HAVE EARNED THE LEVEL UP THAT YOU HAVE BEEN CRAVING.”

“Sweet,” you say, grinning from ear to ear. “What cool stuff happens now?”

“OHOHOHO, YOU’RE GOING TO LIKE THIS ONE,” Lord Cage booms.

“Am I really?”

“I WAS TALKING TO MY BIRD JORDAN. I GOT SOME NEW BIRD FEED FOR HIM. BUT ANYWAYS, YOU WILL BE ADEQUATELY SATISFIED WITH WHAT I HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU.”

“What is it?” you ask with bated breath. Being adequately satisfied sounds absolutely stellar to you.

“AN ABILITY! YOUR VERY FIRST ONE! IT IS VERY SPECIAL BECAUSE IT DOES NO DAMAGE,” Lord Cage crows.

“That sounds terrible,” you say, far less than adequately satisfied.

“THAT’S BECAUSE IT NULLIFIES DAMAGE! GET IT? ‘DOES NO DAMAGE’ ACTUALLY NULLIFIES DAMAGE? HAHAHA! HA! HAHA!”

There’s a moment of silence as the waves below continue to crash into the corpse of the Dark Mercenary below. You wait for Lord Cage to catch his breath again.

“THE POINT IS, THE ABILITY WILL LET YOU BLOCK AN ENEMY’S NEXT MOVE. VERY HANDY, I INVENTED IT MYSELF, SO OF COURSE IT IS A GOOD MOVE. HAVE FUN WITH IT, AND LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU’VE FOUND THAT PESKY BANDIT VISCOUNTESS.”

“Will do, captain,” you say, saluting the golden beam of light in the sky that quickly dissipates.

The journey beckons you on, and you, an adequately satisfied Holy Paladin, must venture on until you find the Bandit Viscountess.