'HOOTERS' the alien guide to human behaviour.

Tiffany picked up the magazine and passed it to the alien who was just finishing her third donut. Flicking through the pages the hungry alien stopped on a set of pictures of a coloured model called Cherry. Within a few minutes a second naked woman lay on the roadway.

Cherry was short and curvaceous with tits that rivalled Tiffany's for size and firmness. Her glossy black hair hung in a braid, reaching almost to her georgeous meaty ass. Cherry cupped her huge breasts and chittered a question to Tiffany. Tiffany looked through the 'HOOTERS' mag until she found the pages containing the readers letters. She passed her computer unit over the pages of writing, after a few seconds the computer signalled that translation was complete.

Tiffany and Cherry read the readers letters with increasing bewilderment. Their race reproduced by deviding in two and sexual acts were unknown to them outside of their observation of less advanced species. The accounts in the letters of bondage, lesbianism and anal and oral sex left them confused as they clearly formed no part in the process of procreation. Also as this was the first human literature that they had seen they were unable to distinguish between fact and fiction. As far as they were concerned having frequent sex acts with complete strangers was normal human behavior.

Tiffany and Cherry mentally adjusted the controls on their computers, from now on their speech would be translated into english, allowing them to converse with the natives inhabiting this part of the planet.

"It was fortunate that we discovered these accounts of everyday human behaviour." Tiffany remarked. "With these to guide us we should have little difficulty rendering ourselves inconspicuous amongst these aliens."

"We should practice this human behaviour to ensure that we don't inadvertantly give ourselves away." Cherry suggested. "It would seem almost any situation can lead to copious sexual activity for these humans."

"An excellent suggestion." Tiffany agreed, as she stepped close to Cherry and reached out to pinch one of her thick brown nipples. "For a start these should become larger and harder when touched or sucked."