What A Lovely Day (whatsawhizzer)

As I entered the kitchen, my hand was still squeezing. I remembered the softness and elasticity of Aunt Felecia’s boobs.

Girls want it just as bad as guys do, they’re just better at hiding it.

That was something I had grown up hearing. Doesn’t that mean that this is a world where women completely and unashamedly show their lewdness? Not only do they want it bad, they had no problem with showing it!

In fact, guys would be hiding it, which makes girls even more thirsty for it!

This is like a dream come true.

I tried to think back to everything I had ever heard about women in my old world. Women got jobs by using their bodies. Women got out of speeding tickets and less jail time. Women got paid less than men, maybe. In a survey where a hot girl asked 100 guys directly for sex, 60% said yes. This was compared to 2% the other way around, and both of them were hookers.

Wait… could I charge women to have sex with me. Except, that’d make me a prostitute, right?

Damn, this world was hard to get your head wrapped around.

I sat down in the dining room chair and had to push away a pile of newspapers to make room. Tiffany dropped a plate of food in front of me, and then went back to the fridge. I thought I had heard her right. Bacon and toast. It was literally just bacon and toast sitting on a plate. The bacon looked like it had been microwaved to a not completely miserable result, and the toast was slightly burnt.

“What?” Tiffany asked, looking at me picking up the stiff bacon. “I’m sorry, that’s the best I learned to cook. Don’t tell me your Tiffany could cook.”

I shook my head. “No, she wasn’t a cook either.”

That was one thing that didn’t seem to change. I was a better cook than Tiffany. However, the difference was that Tiffany normally would have made a salad or cut up some fruit. I wasn’t even sure the house had a carbohydrate in it. Yet, meat and bread were what she gave me.

Tiffany finally closed the freezer, pulling out some chicken to thaw for later. When she turned around, my eyes locked on her breasts. I only realized at that moment that when she got home, she must have changed her shirt before going to the kitchen. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and more than that, the shirt was thin and white. After the cold, her nipples poked right through.

“What is it?” She asked, noticing me staring at her chest.

I was caught again… no, I had to remember Aunt Felicia. Breasts meant nothing in this world. That meant… my dear cousin, she wouldn’t mind if I saw them. Really? Was it really true? Was it really really really true? I gulped, staring even harder at her chest.

“John, you’re acting weird again.”

“Um… can I see your chest for a moment?” I asked.

There, I said it!

I can’t believe I said it.

Am I going to be slapped?

“What? Is there something wrong?” She casually grabs her shirt and lifts it up.

My cousin’s boobs! They were on display!

More titties.

Young titties.

Her boobs were youthful. She was only like a C, maybe a D. I couldn’t even begin to describe how many times I wish I could see these things. They weren't any worst than Auntie's. In fact, they had their own charm. They were perky and tilted upward slightly. Her nipples were sharp and tinny compared to Aunt's big ones. It felt wrong to finally be able to see them this easily.

All I did was ask. Life isn’t supposed to be this easy.

“A-actually…” I my breaking voice to stead. “I need to touch them for a moment.”

Did they feel different than Auntie's? There was only one way to find out!

Tiffany frowned. “Is there something wrong with them? Here?”

She walked right up to me. She was like a hen who had no clue the fox was in front of her. She put her titties right to my face. She wasn't even embarrassed, only concerned.

I felt like my nose would bleed. No… I felt like my cock was going to erupt. No… I felt like I was floating!

I reached out, my hands moving forward as if in slow motion. Touching my cousin’s chest for the first time, this was a meal that I was definitely grateful to god for.

A moment before my hands landed on the things, Tiffany suddenly lowered her shirt and backed up. I blinked a few times, shell shocked. It was like being flashed in the eyes with a bright light and then having it taken away. There were titties, and then there was the absence of titties, and it took my mind a bit to process this discrepancy.

“Wh-what’s wrong?”

“You eyes… they have a weird look in them… they look like... ahem… it doesn’t matter what they look like.”

I blinked a few times, “What do you mean, my eyes are fine. Look like what?”

“That is…” Tiffany blushed. “They look like the girls at school when they pass around a dirty magazine. You’re looking at my… chest… the same way a girl looks at a guy’s… well, you know.”

“My testicles?” I responded.

Tiffany’s face grew even redder. “D-don’t say it! J-jeese.”

“So, this really means nothing, huh?” I grabbed my shirt and lifted it.

“Ahhhh!” She let out a cry, leaping forward and pulling my shirt down. “What the heck are you doing?”

“Hey, Tiff, you okay?” Aunt Felicia shouted from the other room, having heard her daughter suddenly yell out.

“I’m fine, mom!” She shouted back and then glared at me. “I said no funny business or I was calling the mental institute. I can’t believe you pulled up your shirt in front of me!”

“You did it to me!” I shot back.

“It’s different when it’s a guy!”

“What?” I shook my head in disbelief. "How?"

“We have these big fatty lumps on our chests,” Tiffany spoke as if this was an obvious thing. “Guy’s are completely flat. Plus, they have this muscular shape, and… and… they’re man chests, okay?”

That last part she seemed to think settled things. If I had to guess then, a bare chest for a man was sort of about the level of seeing a woman in her underwear. I admitted if my Tiffany had lifted up her shirt, even if she had a bra on, I would have acted the same way. However, women in lingerie often ended up in magazines. The Victoria secret catalog from this world had shirtless men, so it wasn’t any more erotic than seeing a man in his underwear. If a true comparison needed to be made, testes seemed to be the thing women went crazy for in this world.

“How about you go take a bath?” Tiffany changed the subject, “I called some of your old friends. You remember Mark and Garret, right?”

“Eh? I haven’t talked to those guys since I graduated. It’s been a few.”

“Yeah… well, I was thinking if you met some people you recognized, it might jog your memory just a bit.”

“Ah…” I sighed.

She was still treating me like I was a crazy case. As long as she kept the three-month promise though, I’d come up with some way to reason with her.

I hastily ate the bacon and toast. After all, even though it was a bit overcooked, bacon was always bacon. The memes were strong, even in this world.

I headed to the same familiar bathroom. However, it was dirtier than I remembered. There was hair in the sink and a used pad sitting on the floor.

“Ah… s-sorry!” Tiffany pushed passed me, blushing.

She grabbed a couple of things off the floor and tried to clear a space for me.

My eyes ended up landing on something sitting on the side of the bathtub. When Tiffany saw it, she let out a squeal.

“Moooom!”

“What is it?” Aunt Felicia slowly made her way over to the bathroom, glancing inside.

Tiffany pointed down at the object sitting on the tube. It was a large cylindrical object. It was black, about eight inches thick, and ended in a point.

“Ah… that’s where I left you!” Aunt Felicia walked in and picked up the dildo.

“Mom…” Tiffany couldn’t even look, blushing fiercely.

“What?” She said and then turned to me and smiled. “It’s a massager! Right? Just a massager! I use it to get some kinks and knots out. You understand?”

She turned the device on, causing it to fire up with a whirring noise, and then turned it off again, smiling at me as if I should be convinced entirely.

“O-of course!” I nodded, not daring to question her.

She walked away, speaking to herself as she left. “Hmmm… in fact… I have something you can loosen for me tonight little guy.”

When she disappeared down the hallway, Tiffany turned to me and bowed. “I’m sorry… I should have thought of that stuff before…”

I laughed lightly. “It’s fine… um… can you get out? Or do you want me to take off my clothes as you watch?”

For a brief moment, I thought Tiffany looked tempted, but then she made a noise and left the room. I locked it behind her and sighed.

Since I had left the hospital, this was the first moment I was able to be alone with my thoughts. This was certainly another world I was in. I was in another house with another aunt and another cousin. Looking at the shower, I wondered if my cousin masturbated in it like I’d masturbate in mine. No… those were not thoughts to have right now!

I took off my clothing and got into the shower. I realized the two of them only had one soap and one shampoo. I picked up another bottle which had shaving cream in it.

“Gilette, the best a woman can get.” I read the bottle and then sighed, putting it back down.

The soaps all had a distinctly manly sent to them. In fact, the whole décore of this bathroom felt like I was in a dude’s bathroom. It was silver and brown, with not a single flower or floral pattern in the slightest.

I reached down and picked up the water hose, which my Aunt must have left on the floor of the bathtub. I turned the water valve. An explosion of water came out really forcefully. It was coming out in waves too! What the heck was with this product? The water pressure was way up, and the device seemed to be designed to hit you in a strangely rhythmic fashion. I immediately changed it to a normal shower setting. How could someone take a shower with a violent setting like that?

Ah, whatever, I quickly bathed myself and then dressed in clothing I had brought over from the house.

“Why are their no pockets?” I said, realizing that my pants were somewhat tight and the pockets were all fake. “This shirt is really tight too.”

Apparently, the other me liked to wear tight form-fitting clothing. This material felt strange. It was a bit softer than I expected, and the material felt flimsy. They were the same kind of clothing I always wore. It wasn’t like men wore skirts in this world. I still wore jean pants. However, it felt thinner. If I attempted to do sports or something in these clothes, I had a feeling they wouldn’t hold up.

I finally got out of the bathroom. Just as I was walking down the hallway, the doorbell went off.

“Got it!” Tiffany called, running to the door and opening it.

Standing in the entrance were two guys. My mouth fell open when I saw them. Like Tiffany, they were people I recognized, but only barely. Mark was always a messy guy, and Garret was kind of hippy. However, they both appeared to be well dressed and clean.

“Mark? Garret?” I said in wonder, walking up to my cousin.

“Ahhhhhhhhh!” The two guys suddenly screamed, jumping up and down before entering the house. “Oh. My. God. John, it’s been, like, forever!”

The two men suddenly wrapped me in their arms, hugging me tightly while still jumping up and down excitedly. This scene left my mind completely blank, while Tiffany only rolled her eyes and looked away. Aunt Felica was leaning to the side of her chair in a weird way. Wait, I think Aunt Felicia was checking out their butts!

I realized at that moment that as much as I’ve discovered about this strange new world. I had much, much farther to go.