Asking, Up Front And Sincerely

The silence as Karissa paused and waited was about to become uncomfortable, so with your brain unable to process you revert to a stalling tactic and say, “Wow Karissa, that’s... very flattering. Uh...” you’re just about to say you’ll need to think about it when you glance at Jayne, who is no less surprised than you and doesn’t seem to know how to respond yet either.

But again, Karissa is more sensitive and thoughtful than some people might think due to her age. Clearly still very nervous, she holds up her hands and gives a crooked smile, “Oh I know this is an unusual thing! I totally am not expecting an answer right now. Or any time soon, really. Unless it’s a hard no and you are horrified by the thought then just say so and we can pretend it never happened, right?”

Now Jayne shakes her head and replies, “Never that Karissa. I don’t want to speak for Zach but no matter what I would never be horrified or upset by you just asking for something you truly want, up front and sincerely.”

“I completely agree,” you add, “I’m really surprised maybe but Jayne is 100% right, I’d never be mad at someone for just being honest about their feelings.”

“Ok well that’s good,” Karissa relaxes a little, “and before you guys make any decisions I can explain, if you want. I assume you’ll want to discuss it, privately, and you can take all the time you need. But I did want to tell you about me. Not that many people know the whole me I don’t think, but I trust and like you two very much and for me to even ask you out as a couple means I need to be clear.”

She pauses and takes a big sip of her tea. Reaching out with your right hand, you take Jayne’s hand on the table and she squeezes it, giving you a smile. You’re relieved that Jayne is taking it so calmly - although clearly she was as stunned as you were - and her willingness to listen reassures you.

Trying to look as relaxed as possible, you smile at Karissa and say, “Well I certainly would love to hear your story Karissa. You are our friend, and this clearly means a lot to you so it means a lot to us too.” Jayne nods her agreement again.

A small, relieved sigh and the young blonde grins again, at least some of her bubbly energy back. “Regardless of what you think about me for asking you out or what you decide or what happens, you will both always have my friendship if you want it. This kind of acceptance, just agreeing to listen to me, is so awesome and makes me feel so good. I guess, this open mindedness is part of the reason why I’ve come to really like-like you both, so maybe it shouldn’t be a surprise.”

Sitting up straight in her chair, she takes a deep breath and begins.

“My whole life I knew I wasn’t exactly like most of the other girls. I guess in general I was, but in the same way that some kids know very early on that they are attracted to the same sex I knew I was attracted to more than one sex. It was confusing to me, and for a while as a young teenager I thought I was gay. Then I thought no I was straight, then I thought I was in denial and I must actually be a lesbian after all. But I came to accept that I thought of both boys and girls in romantic and sexual ways. Not always the exact same, but still.

“In high school I had a girlfriend for a month or two, then a cute boy would catch my eye and I’d date him, and so on. A few times people would say mean things about me, call me a slut or a dyke or whatever ugly thing they thought would upset me, but it rarely did because I was ok in my own heart with my relationships and in general people accepted me even if they didn’t understand. My Mom was confused but she always supported me, and my Dad left us when I was young so it was just the two of us.”

A flicker of pain clouds her eyes, but Karissa continues, “Whatever. But in senior year I started dating more seriously, and I had a longer relationship with someone who came out as non-binary. Dating them was a big deal to me, it **** me to reevaluate a lot of things I assumed about gender and sexuality. And just after graduation they asked about having an open relationship. Honestly... I had been realizing I wasn’t fully happy with us as a couple, and seeing other people seemed like a good idea. So we made some rules, figured out how we would try it and it very quickly went to hell.”

Laughing, Karissa gives you a big shrug and says, “Funny how in an open relationship, where both partners are free to explore on the side, you still get jealousy and cheating. Regardless, I was very down when the relationship fell apart. I dated like two people after, a super hot guy from my gym, then a really nice older woman who asked me out at a club, but nothing serious and only a few times. I just couldn’t get into a real relationship. And then, I got the job at Bathurst.”

Looking at Jayne, Karissa blushes cutely and says, “I had a tiny crush on Jayne pretty quick. You’re my type, very sexy and good at your job. But I wouldn’t have, like, thought about you in a romantic sense really. Then a couple of weeks after I started and there’s Zach, in the office next to you. And Zach is cute and sneaky funny and really just so kind and treats everyone so wonderfully. The sort of boy I’d have chased in school, honestly. But again I wouldn’t have asked you out. If you had asked me I would have said yes, but clearly that wasn’t going to happen.

“And then, you guys become friends. And a while ago I noticed how close you were getting, and it was fun to see. And when people were starting to whisper about you two being an item I started to realize how perfect you fit together. And I guess that’s when I started to think that you two fit together in a way that I wanted. But not, I wanted to be one of you, but that the two of you together was somehow greater than the sum of your parts. The hot, take-no-shit older sister type with the killer fit body and the super sweet cute guy with the warm eyes and the way you two would banter! Oh my God, the banter!”

Her infectious laugh is the perfect ice breaker, and you can’t help but laugh along with her. Jayne also grins at you, and you can see the affection in her eyes and you know she’s thinking about all the fun you two have had getting coffee and gossiping about work.

“So, yeah. I knew I was crushing on you both, but in a vague way that I’m sure wouldn’t have amounted to anything. And then Jayne tells me that you both want to talk to me in Zach’s office. And hey, there’s a magical alien computer that’s making me like you guys more somehow, and do you want us to remove it?”

Shaking her head, she gives you both a disapproving look. “Come on, ask me to believe all that, and then say you can undo it? Would that make me not like you guys? But I already did! A lot! No computer did that!

“And so I spent time by myself thinking about it. And I realized I really did want both of you, not either one of you, but BOTH of you. And I don’t think it was that affection computer doing it, I was concentrating very hard on my desires and how they had existed for weeks now if not a couple of months. But I guess the affection program did affect me, but mainly because it made me confront what I felt. Maybe that gave me the clarity to see that the only thing I truly wanted was both of you, together. I want all three of us.”

The three of you sit in a strangely companionable silence for a while, drinking your various drinks and then eating your desserts when they arrive. You got a bingsu, which you’ve never had before, and it’s actually quite good. For the next 10 minutes, the only conversation is about the food and weather.

Finally, Jayne clears her throat and says, “You’ve been very brave and honest Karissa, so I should be too. I really care for Zach, and you’re, well, you’re a gorgeous and sexy 19 year old. I can’t get past the thought that I’d be insane to even let a guy I was interested in talk to you, you’re so absurdly hot and young.” She grins as she says it, but you can tell she’s serious.

Karissa replies, “You’re exaggerating, you’re sexy as hell Jayne and you know it. But I guess all I can say is I’m not trying to steal Zach from you. And I’m not trying to steal you from Zach. I never ever would do that, I promise. I care for you both way too much. As your friend I would never do that to either of you guys, and for myself I truly love how you make me feel just being around you as a couple.”

You really would probably prefer to be quiet, but you know you should say something. “Karissa you’re amazing, and I can’t imagine a world where you’d date a guy like me. But I have fallen for Jayne, very hard, and I’d never do anything that would jeopardize that.”

Seriously, Karissa nods, “I understand, of course. I don’t expect you to be like ‘oh sure sounds good’ right now. I assume you need to talk about it, but I wanted to tell you both how I felt and let you know why I don’t want some dumb computer to make me not feel this way. I know it would be stupid, you guys would never agree to something so weird and crazy especially since you only just started dating, but I need you to understand why I don’t want you to remove my name from the list. I, uh, I love feeling this way about you both. I love how just the thought of being a part of your relationship makes me want to cry and dance around and scream with delight, it’s a wonderful new world that just opened up to me and the mere possibility is so exciting I want to burst. I never realized that there might be a way for me to have something that feels so right and now that I’m aware of it I can’t stop thinking about it.

“So please, even if you say no don’t remove me or make me dormant. Ugh, dormant, what a horrible word!”

Up until now Karissa has been nervous but in control, but for the first time you see a hint of tears in her eyes and her voice starts to crack.

“We won’t do anything without your knowledge and permission,” you say firmly, and she gulps and nods.

“Karissa,” Jayne says softly, “I do need to talk about this with Zach. And it is definitely not what I was expecting you to want to talk about tonight! But please, don’t be upset. It’s very flattering, like Zach said, that you like us so much. We’re not saying no, we’re not saying anything yet. Just let us think about it and talk, ok?”

“Yes! Of course Jayne!” Karissa says, trying to keep her excitement in check.

As the blonde clerk give your girlfriend a tremulous smile, you wonder what you do actually think. It’s all such a unique thing, you can’t even wrap your head around it. Let’s face it, Karissa is fun and hot as hell and basically any guy who was into women would give his left arm to date her for a month. But you think you’re falling in love with Jayne, and you’d never ever do anything to risk that, and besides you’ve never cheated on anyone in your life. But Jayne hasn’t simply said she just wasn’t interested in dating a woman, so maybe she’s actually thinking about it? And if she was, would that make you jealous? Scared of losing your girlfriend?

Regardless, you attempt to put it out of your mind at least for a moment. The three of you are having overpriced poop themed desserts together because you needed to talk about TAM, so you should get it done. And now the situation with Alice hating you is part of it too, because you added her as a PoI. You’d rather just ignore that whole situation with Alice but you may as well talk about it now.