Burning Skeleton

You are a burning skeleton – one of the many weak undead wandering a low-level dungeon looking for adventurers that are weak enough for you to kill. Unfortunately most adventurers travel in groups and you are far, far, below the power of the average party. Occasionally lone adventurers come as well, but they are all powerful enough to solo the entire dungeon. Most of them completely ignore weak opponents like you.

As your name suggests you are slightly different from most other skeletons in the dungeon because you are wreathed in flames and constantly burning, but that doesn't really help you in any way – quite the opposite, in fact. You get crushed just as easily and just as often as the other low-level undead in the dungeon – and you are sick and tired of it all. You want to win at least once!

"Just once, gods, just ONCE! Is that too much to ask for?" You say to yourself and – with nothing better to do – check your stats to see if anything has changed after the update that took place yesterday.
Name: Burning Skeleton
Race: Undead (skeleton)
Level: 5
Hit Points: 24
Mana: 0
Melee Attack: 7
Ranged Attack: 0
Magic Attack: 0
Melee Defense: 1
Ranged Defense: 2
Magic Defense: 1
Special Abilities:
Undead – you are undead, granting you certain bonuses and maluses:
- you take double damage from holy attacks
- most healing effects hurt you instead of healing you
- "negative energy" attacks heal you instead of hurting you
- you are immune to a number of negative effects, such as poison, mind control, fatigue, sleep and paralysis
Skeleton – you are a skeleton, granting you certain bonuses and maluses:
- resistance to piercing attacks – all piercing attacks, such as spears, arrows and some spells, deal 80% less damage
- resistance to blade attacks – slashing and hacking attacks, such as most swords and axes, deal 60% less damage
- vulnerability to bashing attacks – bashing attacks, such as those from clubs, hammers and some spells, deal an extra 80% damage
- immune to some negative effects, such as blind and silence
Genderless – as a skeleton you have no gender and are thus immune to all effects affecting a particular gender
Wreathed in Flames – you are wreathed in flames that cannot be extinguished. Anyone using a melee attack against you takes fire damage equal to "[your level]5 to [your level]10". In addition, you are immune to fire damage and any items in your possession are unaffected by the flames that envelope you
Explosive – you explode upon , dealing massive fire damage to all enemies within a 10-meter radius

For a creature that is level 5 your stats seem rather low – but are just a skeleton. Your skills and abilities are also pretty unimpressive: Explosive is useless because it requires you to die, and that is precisely what you want to avoid. Sure, it might become quite useful if you ever obtain a way to revive after , however revive effects are a form of healing, and most forms of healing hurt you instead... Wreathed in Flames isn't much better - it provides a natural light source, but it also makes you easy to spot in the darkness (and making it pretty much impossible to hide) and most adventurers use ranged attacks against you, avoiding the damage from the flames. The rest of your abilities are just standard undead and skeleton abilities that are not worth mentioning.

Next you check your equipment and inventory:
Equipment
Head: Empty.
Face: Empty.
Neck: Empty.
Shoulders/Cape: Empty.
Torso: Empty.
Arms: Empty.
Hands: Empty.
Rings:
Empty.
Empty.
Empty.
Empty.
Empty.
Groin/Belt: Empty.
Legs: Empty.
Feet: Empty. Players and NPC's without footwear incur movement penalties when walking based upon the terrain they are on, and a slight bonus to Stealth.
Primary hand: Empty.
Second hand: Empty.
Backpack/Quiver: Empty.
Undergarments: Empty.
Breasts: Not available.
Pussy: Not available.
Cock: Not available.
Ass: Not available.
Encumbrance: Unencumbered.

The Breasts, Pussy, Cock and Ass slots are new – must have been added during the last update. Unfortunately they are clearly not there for fleshless undead like you. The rest is just as you remember it.

Inventory:
Rusty Two-handed Spear
Rusty Scimitar
Rusty Iron Buckler (small)

How "generous" of your creators to give you a choice between two equally useless weapons! You are so thankful... not!

Your musings are interrupted by the sound of talking somewhere in the distance. Sounds like two – or maybe three – people chatting causally, but you are too far to understand what is being said. You briefly wonder if you should go investigate, or if you should try to stay away...