A woman on a mission

Three days after the Mad Hatter caused my girlfriend Pam to take a slice out of my arm with a kitchen knife, I am relaxing in a green recliner in her living room and am reading the newspaper. I sigh contently as I turn the page when I notice that it doesn't hurt as much to move my left arm. Normally, I read the newspaper for the comics, but this time I have a much more important mission on my mind that is setting of the Mission Impossible theme in my head. I can even hear a voice giving me my mission.

"Your mission, Harleen Quinzel, if you choose to accept it, is to make the final arrangements you need to pop the question to your girlfriend Pam Isley. You need a ring that you can afford that will also fit your girl's finger. You need a romantic setting for the main event to take place. This message will self-destruct in three seconds."

As I am reading the newspaper, I see a full page ad for an amusement park located on the outskirts of town. I picture the roller coaster and the bumper cars. I picture how much fun it would be to take Red there. I see that the ad mentions a Tunnel Of Love and I start to get giddy. What better place is there for me to propose to my honey. That is one part of my mission accomplished. My stitches are scheduled to be taken out on Friday so I think that the main event should take place on Sunday which is the final day before I go back to work.

Next, I have to worry about is the ring. I look at different ads and don't seem to be able to find a ring I want. Joan is going to take me to her house to eat dinner tonight. Maybe she'll have some ideas. I still have to make sure the ring I get fits which puts a sneaky idea in my mind. I know Pam keeps a box of costume jewelry in her bedroom. I'll just borrow one of her rings without her knowing.

I am disrupted by my plans by approaching footsteps. I fold the paper over so Red can't see what I've been doing. She starts placing several kisses on the top of my head from behind. She then nibbles my right ear. I moan. When my face has turned to a shade of red that suits her, she goes into the kitchen to wash dishes. Red can be such a tease sometimes! As soon as the kitchen door closes, I rush to her bedroom to palm one of her rings and put it in my pocket.

After Pam has helped me so much this week, I want to help her out now. I head to the kitchen and I stand next to her in front of the sink.

"What are you doing?" Red asks.

"I want to help," I explain.

"I don't want you hurting yourself," Red refuses.

"My arm doesn't hurt so much anymore and I don't think washing dishes is all that strenuous," I keep pestering.

"I'll wash and you'll dry," Pammy gives in.

Joan takes me to her house for dinner in the next hour. All through the dinner of steak and mashed potatoes, I discuss my plans with my mentor. After dinner, she agrees to take me to a discount jewelry store before taking me home. I start to get nervous on the car ride over.

Once we get there, I take a look at all of the rings that they had to offer. The cheapest ring that I'm interested in costs $400, but I am only prepared to spend $200. When I take out the money and decide what to do, Joan takes out the other half of the money from her purse and hands it to me.

"Happy wedding present," Joan explains.

"Thank you!" I cry out as a tear comes out of my eye while I am hugging my friend.

"You and Pam better take care of each other," Joan advises.

After I show the jeweler Pam's old ring to make sure the new one will fit, I buy the ring and Joan takes me back to Pam's house. When I get to the bedroom, I see that the light is on in the bathroom. I assume my girlfriend is getting ready for bed so I sneak the old ring back in the box. I think I am so clever until I hear approaching footsteps. Pam puts her hand on my good shoulder and forces me to sit on the bed. She bends over and whispers in my ear.

"You have been messing with my jewelry box without my permission! Very naughty! I'm going to have to give you a good tickling when your stitches come out!"

Even though I have absolutely no resistance to Red's tickling, I somehow can't wait for her to make good on her threat.